


Special Kinda Love

by Generalpandathefourth



Series: Love Knows No Bounds [1]
Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Kids, little angst, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:45:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 37,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4270590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Generalpandathefourth/pseuds/Generalpandathefourth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Person A is a single parent whose life is very busy with their full time job the their child. Person B is someone they've known for a very long time and they are close and B is good at helping out with A's child. One day A's child announces to A that A is in love with B.</p><p>Or how Gail and Holly handle their dynamic when Gail's kid starts calling Holly mom and insisting that they are a family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Love you Shy," she kissed her son on the cheek.

Shiloh pouted for all of three seconds. "I love you too mama"

"Bye Hol. Thank you again, I don't know what I'd do if you had a life" she winked at her friend as she retreated to the door.

"I'm amazed you have other babysitters with the way you treat me." Holly teased while bouncing the four year old on her hip.

"Be good you two, only take over like half the world" Gail smiled and closed the door behind herself without another word.

Holly spun around at the sound of the door, "alright.. What do you want to do Shy?"

Shiloh tapped his finger on his chin, deep in thought of all possibilities for the rest if the day. Once the idea popped in his head he jumped up as much as he could in Holly's arms and shouted "Lightsaber fight!"

Holly giggled and agreed, she set the boy down so he could grab the swords and anything else they'd need for the battle. She smiled to herself at the excited giggles emanating from down the hall, those giggles along with everything else that came from that boy was almost magic to Holly. Music to her ears. Nothing but love and happiness.

She'd been there through it all, pregnancy scare to morning sickness, reading and research and classes, three in the morning cravings, shopping and preparing, finding one night stands, nesting, birth and raising. Gail was her best and closest friend, Shiloh was her favourite tiny human, so the three of them spent a lot of time together and Holly was the first one called when she needed someone to watch him.

They had a Lightsaber battle that lasted until Holly accidentally knocked over a picture frame, effectively shattering the glass and putting her in debt of one new frame. Then Holly put on some cartoons, which they snuggled together on the couch watching between each time she had to do something for dinner. Dinner was eaten sitting on cushions at the coffee table while they watched a documentary on dinosaurs -something Shiloh picked up because of Holly-, which continued keep Shy glued to the tv while Holly washed dishes and cleaned up a bit for Gail. They did a couple puzzles then got ready for bed and read a few books.

"Mommy didn't make it to say goodnight."

If Holly hadn't had her eyes on him, listening intently she wouldn't have caught the sad words. It was a small stab to the chest, seeing Shiloh with down cast eyes and blue laced in his voice. She traced a finger up and down his dark cheek - _such a contrast to Gail_ , Holly thought. Everything about his physical features was in contrast of the blonde. He was dark skinned with black tight curly hair, freckles littered his cheeks and nose, but his eyes the exact colour of Gail's- to try and comfort while also getting his attention.

"Wanna see if we can call her?" Holly offered hopefully.

He nodded slowly, timid.

Holly pulled out her phone and hit her speed dial for Gail. It rang through to her voicemail so she tried again and it was picked up within the second ring.

"What's up Doc?"

"Shiloh wanted to say goodnight" Holly smiled at the boy.

"I can't say no to that, put him on" she could hear the smile in Gail's voice as she handed Shiloh her phone.

"Hi mama" Shy was gradually sinking into a lazy smile, sleep was starting to win over as he listened to whatever Gail was telling him. Holly's heart fluttered when the boy giggled and told his mother how silly she was.

"I love you mama... Nighty night night" Shy had his eyes closed at this point and weakly held the phone out, waiting for Holly to take it.

Holly caressed his cheek, kissed his forehead, whispered a goodnight and took the phone before turning off his lamp and walking out the door. Once on the stairs, a safe distance from his room, she greeted Gail again.

"I don't think I'll be back until sometime in the middle of the night, so try not to stink up my clothes or my bed."

Holly chuckled. "I'll try not to as long as you don't wake me when you get in"

There was a pause as Gail thought about it, Holly sprawled out on the couch in the living room. "No promises. Oliver's coming over, I gotta go."

"Later Gail."

"Smell ya later Nerd." And with that the line went dead.

 ~

"Wade up mommies!" Was being shouted throughout the room. Followed by the bed being jumped on every few seconds.

Suddenly it stopped and was replaced with giggles and squirming, Holly opened one eye to find Gail's hand fast at work tickling the four year old with her own eyes sealed closed. They both smiled despite themselves.

"Uncle! Uncle!" Shiloh managed through fits of laughter. Gail's hand froze over his tummy.

"Are you done with the ungodly wake up call?" Gail questioned, her eyes still hadn't opened.

Shy nodded but when there was no reply he spoke. "Yes, as long as my mommies are up. I'm hungry."

That's when Gail's eyes shot open, Holly's wide with the same shock.

"Baby you only have one mommy, me. Holly is your auntie not your mom." Gail recovered faster and cleared the air with a clarification.

His face bunched up for a second before he shook his head. "Noooo. We love Holly more than any of my aunties, so that means she's my mommy" Shiloh reasoned with a tone that said we should all know this and stop being silly.

Gail sat up, scouring her brain for an explanation to give her son. She opened her mouth a few times but closed it just as fast.

"Holly is over like every day, she takes care of me when you go to work, she teaches me things and buys me things. You guys sleep together, you hug, you play, you have fights, you have nights that I'm not aloud to go to. I love Holly, you love Holly, and Holly loves us. Lots of my friends have mommies and daddies that don't live with them and call them by their names." He further explained.

When no one said anything he prompted them.

"Am I wrong?" Shiloh raised his eyebrows in challenge, turning his head from side to side to glance at both women.

Holly and Gail shared a look, both were speechless and quite taken back by the sudden realization of their dynamic. To an outsider, or little boys apparently, it could be seen like that. The three of them did practically everything together, and the bonds between them were special because of it.

Holly had quiet a few friends who had children and yeah she loved them and watched them when she could but it was completely different when it came to Shiloh. She'd been through all ups and downs with the Pecks in front of her.

"No buddy, you're not wrong. But Holly and I are not together in the way that would make her your mom. Those friends of yours who call their moms and dads by their names is because their parents got remarried and so their new spouses are also your friends parent, you understand?" Gail spoke cautiously as she mindlessly played with his hair.

He took that in for a moment, let it bounce around his head and process. "Yeah I get that... You guys love each other so why not just get married and then I can call Holly my mom" Shiloh seemed very happy with himself.

Holly couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I don't know if I'd want to marry your mom, I have it on good authority that she has cooties."

She started to back away as if by saying it she'd catch the germs. Shiloh giggled and jumped out of Gail's arms.

"Fine by me. I wouldn't want to marry a stinky nerd anyway" Gail crossed her arms and looked away.

"Common Shy, let's go make some breakfast for the non cootie people in this house" Holly grabbed the boys hand and together they walked out the door.

It took them the time to get to the stairs before Gail called, "what are you going to make?"

"Probably pancakes and bacon, I'm sure there'll be coffee too. I'll let you know when I'm done stinking up the place and then you can get your own food." Holly yelled back teasingly on their way down the stairs.

"I think I could get used to the stink" Gail was suddenly right behind them.

Both brunets laughed.

Shiloh was appointed the pancake mix -with two sets of very watchful eyes-, Gail the coffee, and Holly the bacon. The morning was filled with their usual banter and laughter, a small fight broke out when Holly threw a blueberry at the blonde -fully intending to get it in Shiloh's waiting mouth but the two were seated very close together on the kitchen counter.

"I might just marry you if you make this every morning" Gail hummed around a mouthful of food.

Holly met her gaze and gave her a crooked smirk.

She'd been watching Gail in a new light since the mornings incident, trying to find what Shiloh had been seeing. Kids were intuitive and saw adults in a way no one else did, but they were also naive and didn't have all pieces to be able to look at the whole picture. So Holly tried to look from his side and see which was at play.

It was fuzzy. It felt weird to look at Gail objectively. She'd always thought the blonde was attractive, it was honestly one of the things that drew her to Gail when they first met, but to cross that line and look at her as _attractive_ was a feat in itself. Weird but eye opening. Maybe there was something there that they had been overlooking, something that they hadn't even thought to look at.

"I think you'd die before the wedding if I did." Holly said before taking a bite of bacon.

"Maybe, but I'd die a very happy woman" Gail beamed at the brunette from across the small table.

_**A/N: Not sure if this totally meets the prompt but it's what came of it so, yeah. Hope you liked it!! And thanks for reading** _


	2. Chapter 2

"Holly! Mama!" Shiloh squealed as they walked through the door, Traci not far behind.

"Mom" Leo called out almost as enthusiastically as Shy, and ran to hug the detective. 

Holly scooped up the four year old after he finished squeezing Gail's legs and gave him a hug. She cherished those moments, she knew he was going to grow too fast and picking him up and having his tiny arms wrap around her neck was going to end soon.

"I missed you too buddy. Did you have fun though?" Holly asked as she stepped a bit further into the apartment. Gail had kicked off her boots and was following Traci to get Shiloh's things, Leo generously went to sweep the house of any loose toys or what not so they wouldn't forget anything.

"Yes, I had a lot of fun with Leo and Uncle Steve. We played soccer and got ice cream and went to the movies and got to eat dinner at one of the inside play places. And then we got back and we played Mario cart and just before you guys got back we were drawing" Shiloh word vomited so fast Holly could hardly keep up, the boy still wasn't great at pronouncing so it added an extra mumble to the fast flowing sentences.

"Shy's been hanging out with you too much Hols, he's picked up on the word vomit." Gail sighed in mock annoyance.

Holly flashed her a lopsided smile. "You love it"

Gail ignored that and turned to Leo. "We got everything?"

"Yup" Leo nodded for good measure.

"Well thank you for taking care of my boy for me" Gail laid and arm across Leo's shoulder -the boy only a head shorter than her- and pulled him into her side.

He gave a chuckle. "No problem, Shy's cool."

"Um excuse me, I did the watching" Steve said rounding the corner.

Gail laughed. "Um, no you didn't. We let you think so but really Leo was babysitting you and Shy, you, brother were only the provider."

Steve thought about it and shrugged. Then he strode over to Holly and ruffled Shiloh's hair.

"See you later bud, today was awesome, thanks for the company."

Shiloh beamed up at his uncle. "Bye Uncle Steve"

Steve leaned in and kissed a freckled cheek. "I love you"

"Love you too."

"Bye Holly, I love you also" Steve leaned in and kissed Holly's cheek too.

Holly returned the kiss, "love you too Steve."

"And I hate you Steven, try and keep your head out of your ass." Gail patted his shoulder as she passed him and Holly, going straight for the door. "Bye Trace, today wasn't horrible" she called over her shoulder and walked out, leaving the door wide open.

Holly shook her head amusedly. "Bye Leo, thank you for today, you too Steve." Traci walked in then, she must have been getting ready for bed because she was wearing an old academy tee and plaid pyjama pants.

"You should get those baby blues to bed, this one is all tuckered out and Gail probably is too." Traci smiled as she trailed her fingers lightly over Shiloh's back. Holly hadn't even noticed the boys head fall onto her shoulder, or when the warm breath on her neck slowed to a steady relaxed rhythm. Luckily he was already put in pyjamas so they wouldn't have to wake him and could just put him to bed.

"I'll get right on that. Today was great, thank you again. Love you Trace" Holly spoke softly.

"Love you too. Drive safe and call when you get home"

Holly nodded and hiked Shiloh's backpack onto her free arm. She gave one last smile then walked out.

The drive was quiet. Shiloh was a deep sleeper so he didn't stir when Holly buckled him in his seat, Gail was half asleep and curled up on her seat, head against her window. When back at the house Holly ordered Gail to bed -which didn't take much-, and she hauled Shiloh up the stairs and tucked him under his sheets with a kiss to his forehead.

She shuffled into Gail's room and grabbed a tank top and a pair of flannel pyjama pants, changed in the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She padded down to the kitchen and grabbed a few water bottles, then went back up the stairs and distributed the water.

Finally Holly crawled in beside the blonde and let out a deep breath.

"Took you long enough." Gail mumbled grumpily and turned over.

Holly was taken aback for a moment, she thought Gail had been sleeping the moment her head hit the pillow. "What're you still doing up?"

"Waiting for you" came the muffled reply.

"Can't sleep without me? You know most people would say that's cute" Holly teased into the darkness.

Gail grumbled something incoherent. And Holly poked her side to get her attention, "didn't catch that grumpy"

"I said I sleep just fine without you, I only waited because I didn't want to be interrupted when your big butt dipped the bed."

Holly stifled a laugh then hummed in reply. "Sure. Goodnight Gail"

"Night"

 ~

"Hey Gail, Shy forgot this last night" Traci seemed awfully happy about the paper in her hand.

Gail raised a brow at her friend. She was being weird, well weirder than usual.

"Okay" she drew out the word.

Traci placed the page on the desk Gail was seated at. "Leo mentioned that he had to make a family tree for his homework and Shy wanted to do one too, but because he can't quite write they settled with him drawing a picture of his family. That's as far as he got"

Gail shot the detective a skeptical glare as she picked up the paper set in front of her. Her stomach instantly dropped and her chest filled with what she's come to know as love. There in Shiloh's scribbly hand was three and a half people, each complete person labeled under their feet. Smack in the middle of the page was a little brunet with bright blue eyes labeled _Shy_ , one of his hands lead to a tall blonde with the same eyes labeled _mama_ , and his other hand lead to a taller brunette with brown eyes and glasses labeled _mom_ , next to her was an unknown half drawn person.

"Is there something you've forgotten to tell me?" Traci grinned knowingly.

Gail's eyes shot up to meet hers, wide with a range of emotions. "What?"

She chuckled and pointed to the one that was supposed to say Holly. "He's labeled Holly as mom, I was just wondering when that happened."

Gail was speechless, even more so than when Shiloh first said it a month prior. It hadn't been a problem since, hadn't even been mentioned, and she'd stop thinking about it a week after.

"Gail?"

"We talked to him and he said he understood but I guess it didn't fully sink in." She answered while staring at the drawing.

"Not quiet following"

Gail groaned. "Like a month ago he called Holly mom, we explained that she wasn't, he continued to argue that lots of his friends parents didn't live with them and they called them by name and the love we all have for each other is more than that with his aunties so it only made sense that Holly was also his mom. But it hasn't been said since." 

"He's a smart kid."

"Stubborn too" Gail said while tucking away the drawing.

"He sticks and fights for his beliefs, that's a hard thing to teach at such a young age, you should be proud"

"I'm always proud of that butt head" Gail stood abruptly and made her way to the break room hoping Traci wouldn't follow and continue with the subject.

But if course it didn't work. "So there's nothing-"

"No Trace, there's absolutely nothing going on with Holly and I. Same as in the academy, same as when I was pregnant, same today."

Traci looked unconvinced, but she did every time Gail denied those claims. It'd been going on since Gail and Traci met at the academy, and Traci didn't even try to hide the fact that she thought they should be together -or already are. But the other times felt differently. They felt...calmer. Gail wasn't sure what it was, she certainly didn't have _those_ kinds of feelings for Holly -her closest friend since college. But this had feelings. Like she had to actually question herself for the answer unlike other times when it was just automatically a no.

"Alright, alright. Just had ask due to your sons tuition." Traci smirked and started for the door. "Oh and you guys have plans tomorrow night, I wanted to try this new restaurant and Steve can't make it so I'll text you with the details."

Gail raised a brow. "What? Why can't you just reschedule?"

"It's a great place and reservations are hard to get, so just go and enjoy it"

 ~

To no ones surprise it was Holly who ended up coaxing -bribe was a better word- Gail into the dinner. She promised to pay and pick the blonde up so she could drink, plus babysitting was taken care of until the following morning courtesy of Andy.

"I told you to get ready an hour ago, Gail" Holly complained loudly enough for the blonde to hear all the way up the stairs and in her room. "We don't have time for this."

"It takes time to look this good, you can all wait five more minutes" Gail shouted back.

Holly rolled her eyes and stepped away from the staircase, if she bugged anymore than Gail was going to either take much longer or refuse to go at all, neither of which Holly wanted to play. The restaurant was one of the hardest to get into and she'd be damned if she'd let the opportunity pass by.

So she decided to grab a glass of water, checked the time on the stove and was happy she went to pick up Gail early. Holly went to sit on the couch when a colour filled drawing sitting on Shiloh's art table caught her eye, and she bent down to pick it up. She smiled fondly at what looked to be a row of family members all with their names boldly under their person.

There was Steve holding Leo's hand, who had the hand of Traci. Then Sam and Andy holding baby Claire. Holly's smile grew when she got to what appeared to be herself, and when she glanced down to see mom instead of aunt Holly her chest filled with what would have been butterfly's if in her tummy but something indescribable when located in her heart.

She wasn't sure what to think or how to feel. She certainly loved Shiloh in the unconditional way every parent describes their love for their child, she would do anything for that kid, but that title wasn't hers. Him giving her that title was conflicting because of it. On one hand it filled Holly with unimaginable love and pride, but on the other it stung. It was bitter sweet.

"Come on Nerd, we don't want to be late" Gail said rounding the corner, stopping dead in her tracts when she saw the brunette standing in the middle of her living room staring at a piece of paper she was positive was Shiloh's family portrait.

 

_**A/N: Hope this was as good as the first chapter! Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading** _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my buddy Acute. During a convo she came up with a genius idea, what if Gail and Holly drank alcohol out of sippy cups, and I thought it'd be perfect for this AU

"I hope he won't notice these have gone missing." Holly lifted the sippy cup in her hand, a big sloppy smile on her lips.

Gail laughed. "If he does we can just get him a new shiny one. But I don't think he'll care, we picked some low key ones."

Holly looked at the cups in their hands, her glasses on the end of her nose -apparently to help her sight-, and nodded as if grading a good paper.

"You're cute" Gail smiled lazily at her friend. She thought it all the time about the brunette, but she hardly ever said it aloud, maybe she was drunker than she thought. Gail's grin grew as she watched the blush run up Holly's neck and set high into her cheeks, the colour hit her inside the chest and filled her lungs. Yeah, definitely drunker.

Holly took a long pull from the bright pink sippy cup in her hand, shaking her head to rid of the harsh taste. Gail then followed suit.

"I'm sorry."

Holly's eyes darted to meet Gail's, her brows furrowed in confusion. "For what? Cute is typically a compliment."

She shook her head, then waited a few seconds for the room to still before correcting the brunette. "No no. I'm sorry for tonight, and for Shiloh." Gail explained, hoping she wouldn't have to go into details and that Holly would just understand by the way she was looking at her.

But there was no such luck.

"Tonight has been turning out quite awesomely, I mean we're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking vodka out of your sons sippy cups, it doesn't get much better than that. And as for Shy, you really don't have anything to apologize for. The kid's perfect, and if I'm still here after all those diapers and vomit, there's not much else to scare me away." Holly was giving her the look she always did when Gail was getting caught up in her insecurities, the look of pure love and patients and understanding.

"I know, but that's why I'm sorry."

The crease between Holly's brows deepened, she wasn't following, what she'd just said was positive so why was Gail apologizing for it? She leaned closer to the blonde, trying to get a better look at the now dark blue eyes, she could always tell what Gail was feeling by her eyes. All Holly saw was sorrow, fear, and something she couldn't describe. Something Gail was hesitant about.

"Im not following, can you elaborate?"

Gail shifted uncomfortably and took another big gulp from her sippy, holding both handles to tip far enough to get the last bit.

"I'm just saying that it must be hard, y'know? Like" she gestured wildly and sighed. The words weren't coming to her, how do you bring up this sort of thing and not just spill a huge can of worms. How do you talk about it without talking about? Gail growled low, barely making a sound, and met Holly's waiting gaze. Her god damn patient and loving gaze.

"The mom thing." She supplied the missing puzzle piece and anxiously waited for the tense reply.

Which didn't take long as Holly immediately stiffened, reeling back slightly, her jaw clenched and she stopped playing with a loose thread. She coughed before speaking.

"It's really not a big deal, it's fine, no need to apologize." Holly spouted quickly and stood, taking the small red cup from Gail's grasp. She went to the counter and undid all the lids needed to give them each a refill, Gail watched silently, knowing that Holly needed a moment to gather herself.

Holly still hadn't met her gaze, refusing to look at Gail let alone in the eye, but that didn't help her attempt at casual. Nothing she was doing was helping her seem okay and she knew it.

"I saw you looking at the drawing earlier, it's okay to not be okay with it." Gail sympathized, touching Holly's wrist in comfort before taking the proffered sippy cup.

"It's really fine, I get how he could come to the conclusion." Holly insisted.

Gail took one last last look at her friend and let it go, Holly obviously didn't want to talk about it and she wasn't going to push her. Tonight was supposed to be a fun, child free, night for the both of them. She pushed to her feet and steadied her vision, then let out a hand to the brunette, a cheeky smirk firmly in place.

"Wanna play a game?"

~

After the failure that was Gail's game it was Holly's turn to choose what they did. Dancing.

Dancing was something Gail didn't do, at least not well, and Holly knew this better than anyone else. The brunette had tried countless times over the years to get her at least comfortable enough in her -not so smooth- skills, just so that Gail could get some of the joy and release that was dancing freely. Those nights went similarly to how their little part was going, in the small carpet space clean enough for them to dance. Even with all of the alcohol consumed in the past few hours Gail was still ridged and self-conscious to let go, get out of her head and just go with the beat.

"Gail, relax." Holly murmured into Gail's ear.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood to attention at the heat of the brunette's breath.

Her eyes had been closed, thinking about how she'd gotten to this point, to feeling this way. To watching Holly and wondering what it'd be like to dance with her, how it would feel to place a hand on their side of her waist and pull her so close they could hold a piece of paper between them. How sweet would the beads of sweat running down Holly's neck taste on her tongue. Since when did she look at Holly, her best friend, like she was the sexy librarian Gail had always teases her about?

Gail opened her eyes to see a smirking, and very drunk Dr. Stewart. Her body reacted before her head could stop it. A roll, a crashing wave of heat swept through her every vein, every cell, like an electric shock.

"Come on, Blondie, you can do it." Holly encouraged over the loud music. She moved in close to the blonde, "close your eyes again and just feel."

Gail did as she was told, a drunk Holly was not one to disobey -she'd found out early in their friendship. One drunken night Holly wanted to paint Gail's nails and didn't stop whining until Gail let her-, she closed her eyes and tired to shut down. Not an easy task when suddenly there were gentle fingers trickling their way down her arms, Gail's pulse kicked up a few notches, and she became very aware of their proximity.

Holly laced their fingers together and Gail didn't listen to the fleeting thought of how soft Holly was, how amazing those hands would feel against every inch of her skin.

"Forget everything, Gail, stop thinking and just go with whatever you do. Listen to the beat and relax." This time Gail could feel Holly's lips brush her ear, felt the silky lips kiss her ear as the whispered.

"I can't." Gail countered. If she did as instructed she knew it wouldn't end well, not with the way the brunette's touch set tiny fires in their wake, slowly creating a forest.

~

"Wow, you guys look like trash." Andy smiled upon opening the door, baby securely on her hip.

Gail glared at the bright eyed brunette, already annoyed to no end with her co-worker, and pushed past her into the house.

"So what'd you guys get up to last night? I'm guessing some extra drinking after dinner." Andy chuckled to herself as she closed the door and spun around to look at the blonde.

"We didn't make it to the restaurant." Gail shushed the woman with a wave of her hand, and glanced around the small living room. "Where's Shy?"

"Shiloh's with in the backyard with Sam. Why didn't you go to the restaurant?" Andy shifted Claire to her other hip, the baby unconcerned with their conversation, her mothers shirt far more interesting to the six month old.

"We ran late and ended up just staying in." Gail shrugged and started for the sliding doors that lead to the half dead backyard.

Shiloh was running away from Sam, a football held tight under his arm. Gail smiled to herself, seeing her son in such a state of glee never failed to make her feel happy, no matter the raging hangover that was screaming in her head.

"He was great, slept with no difficulties and hasn't had any sort of melt downs." Andy informed Gail.

She nodded and opened the door, more than ready to have her boy back. Most parents complained about having their kids around so often, about the noise and the constant need for attention, over joyed when school rolled around. But Gail was the opposite. She missed Shiloh when he was away, she dreaded the day school started, she missed the random facts he picked up from Holly, she missed the call for her to look at something, she missed the shouted 'I love yous' when they were in separate rooms for longer than ten minutes. Gail missed her little buddy and anxiously waited for their reuniting.

"Mommy!" Shiloh shouted happily when he saw Gail descend the stairs of the back deck.

"Hey, little man!" Gail greeted the boy with a big smile and open arms, ready for him to jump into. Shiloh didn't slow in his run to his mom, jumping right into the embrace as if they hadn't seen each other in years.

"I missed you." He whispered into her ear, snuggling deeper into Gail.

"I missed you too. It's weird being home without you." Gail replied in the same hushed tone.

"Then we should get home, shouldn't we?"

Gail laughed. "Yeah, I guess we should."

She placed the freckled faced boy down and looked to the couple standing off to the side. "Pass me Chubby Cheeks while you gather Shy's things."

Andy happily gave Gail Claire, placing a kiss to the girls temple before following Shiloh into the house.

"Hi Claire, it's been awhile. I had no idea you'd gotten so big, when did that happen?" Gail cooed to the girl, a bounce in her step that happened naturally when holding a baby.

Claire blinked up at her.

"Not gonna tell me? That's cool, I don't like talking much either." Gail continued to follow the others into the house, baby sitting peacefully on her hip.

It didn't take long for them to find Shiloh's backpack and fill it, sending the boy out the door with cheerful goodbyes and thank yous, and a kiss to baby Claire's head.

"Thank you for taking Shy on short notice, I'll have to repay the favour sometime." Gail said while passing a grabby handed Claire to Sam.

"I'll hold you to that." Sam jokingly warned.

Gail found Shiloh sitting patiently in his car seat, his Wonder Woman backpack in the seat next to him. The very backpack she had to search high and low for, and then paid pretty handsomely for, all because he had found some of Holly's comics one day and got his Aunt to read every-single-one. She buckled him in and ruffled his curls.

"It's your choice in music, what do ya want?" Gail asked as she started up the car  

Shiloh didn't hesitate in yelling out his answer. "Izzy mix!"

Gail laughed, she shouldn't have even bothered asking, the boy always chose the cd Izzy Shaw -second choice babysitter- had made for him as a birthday gift. All songs Shy needed to know that weren't from anywhere near his time.

She drove quietly listening to her son miss sing every other line, and tried her hardest not to think of the events of the night before. Which had gone as well as anyone would think it would. Completely, one hundred percent, unsuccessful in every possible way imaginable. The feeling of Holly's lips on her ear, and the spine chilling reaction her every look and touch gave Gail, stayed.

 

**A/N: I really hoped you like it, I'm trying to get updates out sooner but writings hard y'know. Thanks for reading and nicely waiting for more**


	4. Chapter 4

"We got some peanut butter, what looks to be ham, cheese slices, apples, carrots, crackers, anything I'm saying sound good?" Gail raised a brow at the blue eyed blank stare. "Aunt Chloe has some chicken wraps, how about that?"

That got a slight reaction, a head tilt in thought. Then a shake of head.

Gail took another look in the break room fridge, moving a few things here and there. "Ah!"

"How about Aunt Frankie's left over spaghetti?" She swivelled in question.

"Yes please!" Shiloh perked right up at the suggestion of spaghetti. It was his favourite after all.

"I'm sure she won't mind, right?" Gail smiled, knowing full well how pissed the detective was going to be, and not be able to really be mad because it was for Shiloh -her sweet, innocent, hungry nephew. Gail snickered as she re heated the noodles and sauce, enjoying it all too much.

Once happy with their meals they set out for her desk.

Gail's lunch ran twenty minutes over due to picking up her son, and setting up for a few hours hanging out at the station. It'd happened before, Shiloh not having someone to watch him for a few hours and so Gail had to ride the desk -or find someone who she trusted- to continue work and watch the dark haired four year old. Quite a few times Shiloh had ended up at the morgue with Holly, those days always brought some wonderful dinner conversations about fluids, and guts, and medical jurisprudence that she couldn't even pronounce. Those days seemed like his favourite, there were only so many times you could show kids the equipment rooms and it be exciting. Where as a day at the morgue was never quite the same each time.

"Mama?"

"Yes, Shy?"

"Why is the sky blue?" Shiloh asked as they skipped down the halls of 15 division.

Gail smiled at the innocence of the question. _Why is the sky blue?_ "I have no idea of the science behind it."

"I'll ask Hols, Sunday at the park." He nodded at his conclusion.

Gail's insides turned to ice for a split second, every cell, every vein, all dropped below freezing. Holly. The park. She couldn't cancel that, not after avoiding the brunette all week, it would be too obvious that something was going on. And if Holly thought there was something going on then she would have no choice but to admit her change of view. Admit the extra jump of her pulse at the thought of her best friend. Admit her wandering daydreams of smirking lips. Admit the fluttering in her stomach at the mention of her name. Gail was hardly ready to deal with it herself, let alone telling anyone -telling Holly- about it.

"Yeah. I'm sure she'll know." Gail attempted to stay cool and level as they arrived at her desk.

Shiloh rolled over the closest empty chair and sat it next to his moms. Gail passed him his bright headphones before taking out her phone and opening the Netflix app.

"So, you sit right there, eat your spaghetti, and watch The Magic School Bus alright?" Gail instructed as she got the show ready on her phone.

"I can't watch The Magic School Bus." Shiloh was quick to shut it down.

Gail peaked over her phone at the boy beside her and raised a brow.

The brunet wiggled further into his seat, head phones resting around his neck, and tupperware container of warm spaghetti in his lap, glaring at his mother for even suggesting he watch the cartoon.

"I can't watch it without, Holly." Shiloh stated with 'you should know this' written into his every action. "That's our show, and we promised to not watch without each other."

It'd been just over a week since they had last seen each other, the morning of their night of fun, and Gail had been avoiding the doctor since. She needed time to clear her head of the clouds that seemed to bloom with every thought of Holly, needed to bungee cord her heart so it'd stay in place, and she needed to figure out how to put an end to the quiet hum of her body at the mere memory of soft, tanned skin on her own.

"Oh, right. Sorry," she shook her head in an attempt to clear it. "I forgot. What do you want to watch then?" Gail exited the episode and began scrolling through the children titles.

"Mama, I miss Holly. Can we visit the morgue?" Shiloh asked hopefully, his voice void of its usual air of confidence.

Gail's heart pinched with guilt, she'd forgotten about her son in the whole avoidance thing. The past week was probably the longest Shiloh had ever gone without seeing or talking to Holly.

"I'm sorry buddy, but we can't bug her at work." She internally winced at the change in the baby blues starring back at her.

"That's a lie. We visit her all the time at work, mom loves it when we bring her things at work. And we're _never a bug_."

She paused. There was that word again. Gail closed her eyes and thought of how to react. She could tell him, again, that Holly was definitely not his mom -even if the thought was eliciting a joy and love she'd only ever felt the first time Elaine held Shiloh, and teared up as she whispered 'welcome to the family'. And even then, it was nothing like she was swimming in at the new sound of Holly being mom-, and that he needed to stop saying it. But then she'd have to explain that it hurts Holly, and no it's not because she wouldn't want to be, it's because she isn't and you calling her so reminds her she's not. And no it's not as simple as it seems, and no there's no good way to explain, it's one of those feelings you have to feel to understand. And Gail didn't want to get into that at the station, so obviously that route was a no go.

So that just left, leaving it alone and possibly having it backfire later, or subtly correcting him and washing over the moment.

"You're right, _Aunt_ Holly does love it when we visit her, especially with food cause we all know how she forgets to eat. But we can't see her today, Shy."

"Okay, but why?"

Gail sighed, growing frustrated at the conversation. "Because it's a busy day. I don't have time for a visit, she can't come get you, and you can't go alone."

Shiloh sat quietly for a moment, taken back by his mothers tone. He wasn't used to Gail talking to him the way she was, not used to how quickly she turned from one mood to another, usually there were steady signs that he was pushing limits and he had time to prepare or stop. This was as if he'd flipped the wrong switch and he wasn't sure how to take it.

Luckily he didn't have time to reply.

"I have some time if you want."

Both Pecks turned to see a smiling Officer Diaz, standing awkwardly a few feet away. Gail gave him a glare for eavesdropping, and Shiloh beamed up at him as if he just said they were all going to Disneyland.

Chris scratched the back of his head.

"I mean, I have to go down to the morgue and I wouldn't mind some company." Chris clarified, trying to get the heated stare to cool off.

Shiloh jumped out of his seat, almost spilling his food all over himself.

"Can I mama? Please" the boy drawled out the word, begging with big sparkling eyes, his breath obviously held in anticipation.

Gail thought through the pros and cons, and decided it'd be a good idea. Shiloh got to see Holly, Holly got to see Shy, and she wouldn't have to lose her spot on her reports every ten minutes. It was a win for everyone.

Well almost. Gail wanted to be the one taking him down to see Holly, but she couldn't because her stupid body was messing with how she felt about the doctor, and she really couldn't deal with any real contact until she got it under control.

 ~

Holly was filling out a report on the autopsy she'd just finished, listening to the quiet hum of music that filled her office, and wondering what she was going to do for dinner when a small knock sounded from her door.

"Come in." She called, not taking her eyes off of the computer screen.

The door creaked as it slowly opened, revealing a tall, clean shaven officer she'd come to know well.

"Hey Doctor Stewart, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." Chris said as he entered her office.

Holly smiled warmly. "Not at all, and please call me Holly, I think we've known each other long enough for you to use my first name."

"No promises."

She gave a breathy chuckle, not expecting for this time to be the one that got him to stop being so formal. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just coming in to tell you that Shiloh is here for a visit. He really wanted to see you, and I was on my way down for some results, so he tagged along." "

I don't think you did such a hot job there Chris." Holly pointed to the empty room, no child in sight.

Chris smiled amusingly at her. "He got distracted with whatever it is your intern is doing."

"Ah. Well I appreciate the escort, thank you for bringing him."

"Any time Doc." Chris turned back to the door and said a goodbye before leaving Holly to her excitement.

Holly didn't have to wait long before the familiar sound of slapping feet meeting hard floors sounded from the halls. She smiled, watching the door in anticipation.

"Holly!" Came the small, joyful greeting.

Her heart jumped in excitement, that voice, that bright smile, those sparkling blue-blue eyes, hidden behind her desk as he ran to greet her with open arms.

"Shiloh!" Holly smiled brightly, her day instantly made.

Her breath was stolen from her lungs as a shoulder was slammed into her gut, tiny arms squeezing her torso tightly. Holly wrapped her arms around the small body clung to her own, and inhaled the sweet familiar scent of her favourite little person with a sigh of relief. Holly pulled the boy up onto her lap, never breaking contact.

It'd been too long since she had that, too long without a hug or a smile, too long without the sound of his voice. God had she missed it, him. Holly had no idea what it meant to miss someone whole heartily, to love someone so much that going a week with no contact felt like a pain, a heartache, that couldn't be put into words. She thought she knew. Thought that the first year out of the house was the most you could miss someone. That her first breakup was what the worst a heart could break. That her first straight-girl crush was what true, aching, yearn felt like.

But she was wrong. So, _so_ wrong.

The past week without Shiloh and Gail had honestly been the worst week of her life, and she never wanted to be absent for that long again. Never. Ever. Again. Her heart wouldn't be able to take it.

"I missed you." Shiloh murmured into her shirt.

"I missed you too, Shy." Holly's voice trembled.

Shiloh's weight lifted from her grasp and she opened her eyes to see concern etched into his every feature.

"Why are you sad?" Shiloh asked gently as he wiped away stray tears. His brow furrowed in much the way her own did when worried.

Holly smiled at the boy and held his hand. "I just really, really missed you and I'm so happy you came to visit."

 

**_A/N: I'm sorry for the feelz, idk what happened. But I hope you liked it anyway. Thanks for reading, and please feel free to yell at me whenever_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unedited cuz I don't feel like reading it for the hundredth time, so please exuse any and all mistakes

"Why aren't we just staying home?" Shiloh questioned from his car seat behind the passenger side.

Holly turned down the music, "because you and I are having a sleep over. It's not much of one if we stay home, now is it?"

"I guess not." He looked whist fully out his window, making Holly crack a smile at how adorable her... Shiloh was.

Holly's smile lost it's joy and turned to sadness, that'd been happening a lot lately. At first she didn't know why, it was something she couldn't quite pinpoint, but after spending a week alone and having so much free time she ended up going through all of her belongings -which turned out to be a one day job. Holly didn't really have much in ways of belongings, probably because she didn't consider her apartment to be home-, organizing and cleaning everything, she worked out more than she should, got caught up on all of her paper work, finished her article, and still had time to overthink her life. Which had shon a light on why she had so much time.

The disappearance of Gail and Shiloh.

The Pecks, the two she's dedicated the past five years of her life to, the two that made her smile, the two that she loved more than anything, her family. They were her everything. And once Holly came to that conclusion she understood what Shiloh had been saying, he was right, maybe not in the way it sounded to adults but to him and in all of their hearts, Holly, Gail and Shiloh were a family.

And for that very reason, for the empty hole in her heart, she made it her mission to get Gail to stop avoiding her. Holly knew the game, could see the blonde climbing a tree from a mile away, and Gail wasn't the best at giving her excuses -they got really weak and lame real quickly. So she knew that something happened between them, something she couldn't remember, and it happened on the night they were supposed to go to the restaurant.

And the fact that she couldn't remember half of that night freaked her out. Anything could have happened. She could have said something that hurt Gail, she could have spilt out her feelings about Shiloh calling her mom and it freaked Gail out, she could have gotten too drunk and over stepped boundaries. Holly tended to be a cuddly drunk and sometimes got a little too friendly with people, overwhelmingly beautiful and sexy girls in particular. And it was no surprise that she was attracted to Gail, she had eyes and common sense, it was one of the biggest things that first attracted Holly to the blonde. But this was Gail, her best friend, and she didn't even see her in that way anymore.

Holly hoped that whatever she had done could be fixed soon, she missed her cranky officer, and more than that she missed their family. She _needed_ them back together.

Holly went to park in her usual spot in Gail's driveway but it was taken up by a familiar car. Detective Anderson.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Holly muttered angrily under her breath. Why it angered her, she didn't know. Maybe it was because Gail said she was working late and wanted a few hours to herself tomorrow on her day off, it was why Shiloh was going over to her place and Holly not just babysitting at the house. And here Gail was, with company.

With company.

"Oh my god." Her eyes were wide, acid growing in the pit of her stomach but she didn't have time to dwell on it because Shiloh's door slammed and there was no way Holly was going to let the boy walk in on that.

On Gail and Frankie doing something they hadn't done in years, something Holly didn't quite understand the relationship of.

Holly jumped out of the car and scooped the boy into her arms, "why don't you grab your Izzy mix from Mama's car and start it while I go in and get Chewy." She told more than asked, holding Shiloh upside down.

He giggled but agreed.

Once sure that Shiloh was distracted enough, Holly knocked on the door, she didn't want to walk in on it either but it was better for her to see half dressed Gail and Frankie than it was Shiloh -who would have just walked in with no warning. Holly braced herself for the inevitable, she was oddly hurt at the thought of Gail and Frankie hooking up again. And angry, she was angry about it too. It felt like getting punched in the gut and if that wasn't bad enough they went and punched her heart too.

The door swung open and revealed a wet haired Frankie in nothing but a pair of Gail's boxers, and a bra. Holly watched with a clenched jaw as the detective slipped one of Gail's sleeve shirts over her head.

"Hey, Stewart. Gail said you were watching Peckling tonight?"

"I am. Just needed his Chewy, Gail must forgot to pack him." Holly responded curtly, doing horribly to try and act cool. "She also said she'd be working late.."

Frankie smirked the way she always did when she was right about something, and Holly found it incredibly annoying -there was no reason for her to be wearing it.

"I'll sit out here with the kid while you get his stuffy." Frankie said, sliding past the pathologist without another word.

Holly looked into the house, half expecting there to be a trail of clothes leading up the stairs. But there weren't -thank god. She timidly entered the house, she really didn't feel like bumping into Gail, not like this. She didn't want this to add to Gail's list of reasons to avoid seeing her.

Holly cautiously climbed the stairs, listening for any sign of the blonde. She didn't want to be there, she really really didn't, but there was no going back -not without the toy. So she walked as fast as she could to Shiloh's room, she could hear the shower running from the open bathroom door -god why did it have to be open- and she groaned loudly when Chewy wasn't in Shy's bed. Holly stormed out of Shiloh's room and checked the living room, and when she still didn't find it she checked the play room, and it dawned on her that the next place to look was Gail's room.

_Fuck._

"Gods, why do you hate me?" Holly cursed under her breath. All she could do now was pray that Gail stayed in the shower and that Chewy was in an easy and accessible place on Gail's bed.

_The bed that they had used._

_Stop it, don't go there._

_Maybe they used the shower and that's why Frankie's hair was already wet._

_Gail is your friend, your best friend, so stop. Please._

_Or maybe they had sex on the bed and then the shower._

She entered Gail's room and gave a sigh of relief at the half assed job of bed making, the blondes attempt to show that her room was clean in hopes that Shiloh wouldn't be able to call her out when he was told to clean his room. Holly laughed at the memory of the squabble.

Holly scanned the room for the stuffy and almost lunged at it when she saw its fur sticking gout from under her pillow. No not her pillow. It was Gail's pillow, she didn't own the pillow, it was just the one she used when she slept over. Holly shook the thoughts from her head as she snatched Chewy from under the pillow, and immediately headed out of the house.

"Mom, look what Aunt Frankie gave me!" Shiloh exclaimed as Holly emerged from the house in a fluster, holding a lollipop into the air to show the brunette.

Shiloh was sitting on the hood of Holly's car, Frankie leaned right up against him with the same smirk on her lips as ten minutes ago, and the Izzy mix playing in the background.

Holly smiled weakly. "That's awesome Shy, did you say thank you?"

The boy nodded and stuck the lollipop back in his mouth.

"Good. Well I got Chewy," she waved him for prof. "So why don't we head out and get our sleepover started?"

Shiloh slid off the car with the help of Frankie's hold on his upper arm.

"Alright, keep your nose clean kid, I don't want to have to arrest you." Frankie gave her usual goodbye, making Shiloh giggle.

"But what if you're off duty?" He challenged with a smirk.

Frankie's own smile grew, and she bent down to be eye to eye with the four year old. "Then that means you're dragging my ass out of bed, and that's just about the worst road you could go down."

If Shiloh was phased he didn't show it. He just smiled, kissed her cheek and opened his door. "Bye, Aunt Frankie. Tell Mama to call me."

"Why don't you just get mom to call in an hour, she'll be ready by then." She locked eyes with Holly.

Holly looked away immediately, busying herself with getting into the he car. "Common Shy, at this rate the pizza will arrive before we do, and then it'll be cold by the time we get it."

Shiloh jumped into his car seat and buckled himself in before slamming the door. "Smell ya later, Detective." He smiled around the lollipop stick.

"Later Peckling." She caught Holly's eye and again came that smirk. Frankie waited until the brunette had started backing out of the driveway before turning back to the open front door.

 ~

Holly glanced at her chest as she felt Shy stir, she placed a hand on his back and went back to reading her book. She was exhausted and the arm rest of the couch was digging into her back, but she didn't want to disturb the moment by going to bed.

They didn't do much when they arrived at Holly's apartment, mostly talking and stories, games and a movie. Which was when Shy passed out on her, his breath on her neck, thumb in his mouth, and a death grip on her shirt. Holly turned it off and listened to his steady breathing, running her hand up and down his back. It'd been forever since they had been in that position, the last time Shiloh's toes barely reached her pant line, and now were well on their way to her knees. And in an effort to prolong the moment she had wiggled a book off the coffee table and began reading.

"Mama." He sounded panicked, his left hand searching for something to hold and finding perchance in Holly's hair. She winced slightly at the pull of her scalp.

Holly put her book on the floor beside them and began rubbing Shiloh's back with one hand, the other in his hair. "It's okay, Shy, Mama's alright."

His temperature raised, making Holly begin to worry. This wasn't just a bad dream to whisper away.

"Mommy don't go...Please don't leave." He whimpered.

Holly began to shake him awake. "Shiloh, wake up. It's just a dream, everything is okay, no one is going anywhere."

He woke with a gasp, digging his knees into Holly's stomach as he jerked into a kneeling position. His eyes wide and alert, fear emanate in the blues.

Holly gently stroked his cheek and grabbed one of his hands, giving him an anchor as he gathered his surroundings.

"It's okay, baby."

Shy relaxed as he met Holly's loving gaze. And her heart broke when the first tear rolled down his cheek, which she immediately wiped away.

"Mama got shot, an-and she was in the hospital. And y-you left me, I asked you to stay and you left."

"I'm right here." Holly pulled him into her arms, cradling his shaky little body, as tears of her own dared to spill. She hid her nose in his neck and tried to calm herself, taking a few deep breaths of his scent. "I'm not going anywhere, and Mama is safe at home in her bed."

Minutes passed in silence as the two settled down.

"I want Mama."

"We can give her a call from bed." Holly sat up, still holding Shiloh close to her chest.

Shy shook his head. "I need her."

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Another shake of his head. Holly sighed.

"What do you want? What can we do?"

Shiloh unburied himself from Holly's hair and looked her in the eye. "I want Mama to come here."

"Then let's get her here." Holly swung the boy onto her hip and took her phone out of her pocket. As the line rang she took them to her bed.

"What happened?" Gail answered worriedly, her voice sleep heavy, gravely.

"Everyone's okay." Holly was quick to assure the blonde. "Shy had a nightmare and wants to see you."

"Okay. Um, are you bringing him or am I coming to get him?" She could imagine Gail sleepily rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, lying on her back with the phone to her ear.

Holly settled onto her side and took note of every feature of Shiloh's dark skin, from the tear stains to the long wet eye lashes, the freckles to the thumb trapped between pouty lips, from the trusting, heavy gaze to the out stretched hand seeking out contact. He was beautiful in the dim light of her bedside lamp. Well he was beautiful in every light, but that was beside the point.

And she found herself wondering -not for the first time- how he reminded her so much of Gail when looking almost nothing like the blonde. How could he be the polar opposite of Gail in looks, yet be undeniably hers in every way.

"He wants you to come here." She took hold of Shy's hand and gave it a kiss.

Gail grunted but didn't complain, Holly knew it was the better option anyway, the blonde would go nuts just sitting at home waiting for them to arrive. She'd need to be busy before being able to scoop the boy into her arms and chasing the fears away.

"I'll be there in ten." Gail huffed, by the shuffle sounds Holly gathered that she must have been getting out of bed. And with that the line went dead.

Holly closed her phone and blindly moved it to her night stand, placing her glasses next to it. She was kind of excited at the prospect of seeing Gail, it'd been sixteen days since they last talked face to face, twenty three since they last had a real conversation-when they got drunk and this whole thing started. And she realized that, that phone call was the longest, most normal, conversation they had had in over three weeks.

Holly's stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of laying eyes on the blonde, and listening to her voice first hand.

So when the muffled jingle of keys, followed by the soft click of the door hit her ears, Holly couldn't hold back a smile. And before she could blink there was a flash of soft blonde hair right as Shiloh disappeared.

"I've been told you've had a bad dream." Gail's sweet voice filled the silence of Holly's apartment, bringing a calmness to both brunets. "Wanna tell me about it?"

Holly's eyes slowly adjusted to the blurry blobs across from her, who when cleared turned into Gail in an oversized hoody -one Holly had been looking for for over the past month- and doughnut patterned boxers, Shiloh wearing his monkey onesie, tucked into his mother in the same cradle Gail rocked him to sleep with every night. Holly's heart prided with an overwhelming love at the moment playing out before her.

"You got shot, and mommy left me. Even after I asked her to stay.." Shy whispered, his voice wavering in the way everyone's did after crying.

A pang of hurt ran through her at the way Gail's eyes closed for half a second, gathering herself at the impacted of his words, and then met her gaze with questioning eyes.

What questions Holly didn't know, but she hoped that what she was sending back to the blonde was enough of an answer.

"I can promise you that I am one hundred percent bullet free, and that lunchbox isn't going anywhere." Gail rocked him back and forth, running her hand up and down the length of his body. "And I know for a fact that she wouldn't ever go if you asked her to stay."

"Never ever?"

Gail smiled gently down at Shy. "Never ever."

"And you're ok?"

"I could let you examine me but it's late and I'm exhausted." That earned her a small laugh from both brunets, bringing the heart filled gaze back to Holly.

"Then we should go to bed." Shiloh affirmed.

"Give lunchbox some kisses and let's get going." Gail placed the boy back on the bed beside Holly.

Shiloh looked confusingly back at her, "no. I want both of you, all of us together in the same bed."

Both women shifted uncomfortably. But no one had time to protest as Shiloh pulled an unsuspecting Gail onto the queen sized mattress, making her almost fall off in an attempt to not squish the boy. Once Gail caught herself and settled in beside her son, Shy pulled Holly closer by moving her hand onto his chest, then buried his nose into Gail's shoulder.

Gail reached over Holly and turned out the light, accepting their fate for the night and the following morning, however dreadful.

"G'night, Mama." Shiloh murmured into her skin.

Holly watched Gail kiss the top of his head, the three of them lit by the pale moon light streaming in from the window to their left. "Sweet dreams, Shiloh."

"G'night, Mommy." Shy mumbled after a yawn.

Holly could feel the piercing blue stare, could practically hear the hum of Gail's mind, and she knew what it was about. Gail was gauging her reaction to the countless 'moms' and 'mommies' she'd received that night.

The first time it didn't even register, not until Frankie said it, the knowing smirk then made sense, but every time after that -eleven to be exact- had sent a a yearning shock through her body. It felt good, natural, to be his mom. It felt right. So she didn't correct him, she gave up on calling him out on it, if Gail wanted to stop it then so be it but for the day Holly embraced the title -and would for as long as she got it. In her heart, Shiloh, was hers. And in his heart, Holly, was his mom. And that would never change no matter what they referred each other as.

"Good night sweetie." Holly kissed the top of his head, right next to the spot Gail had.

When she opened her eyes again she was met with blue eyes, inches away, Holly hadn't even noticed their proximity and wondered why Gail hadn't wiggled as far away as she could, why Gail was watching her so intently with no trace of the avoidance from the past three weeks. It could possibly be to stay where Shiloh had placed them, Gail had wiggle room, had space.

At the first sign of a sleeping boy, Gail's eyes filled with unshed tears. Holly was confused. Was Gail really in that much pain being around her? Just as she was about to flip off the blanket and go to the couch Gail's hand brushed against her own as it clung to Shy's pyjama, and she placed gentle kisses along every inch of the boy she could without moving.

And it clicked. Gail wasn't crying because of her, Gail was crying over the boys dream.

Holly tentatively grabbed Gail's hand. There was nothing to say, no comforting words, not for this. Telling her it was okay was a lie. She could get shot any day and her son knew that, he feared it even in subconscious, and how was that okay? But as the tears let loose and a choked sob escaped, Holly grew desperate to comfort her friend, so she did the first thing that came to mind.

She kissed her.

 

_**A/N: So this happened, and I hope you liked it. I'm thinking that next chapter will be from Gail's pov of this chapter, and then another one or two and an epilogue. Anyway, if love to hear what you thought of this one c: thanks for reading** _


	6. Chapter 6

"I haven't seen your girl around in a while, Peck, how is the amazing Doctor?" Oliver questioned merrily as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

Gail's head snapped out of the fridge. "What?"

Ollie looked her over, ending the exam with a gentle smile and a twinkle in his eye. "I asked how our beloved Holly was, I haven't seen her around the past few weeks, and I worry."

Gail was doing beautifully in avoiding Holly, it was almost an art form. Hiding in interrogation rooms, dodging into offices, texts only to schedule visits with Shiloh -when she was conveniently too busy to join-, and excuses. Lots and lots of excuses. Stupid, very obvious excuses, that she knew Holly could see through, knew Holly was just letting her get away with. And Gail was honestly shocked she hadn't been bombarded with a talk on what was happening, on why, and how they could fix it.

"She's good, nothing new." She said as cool as she could, closing the fridge door.

"Good." He nodded with his signature smile and continued to make his coffee. "Tell her to give Celery a call, she's been asking for another dinner with the three of you."

The three of you.  _The three of you_. The three of you, it rang in Gail's ears. There was a three of them, her, Holly, and Shiloh.

"Gail?"

She blinked, focusing back onto the Staff Sargent. "Yeah?"

"Dinner?" Ollie asked behind his mug, the one Shiloh had decorated for him last Christmas.

"Oh. Yeah, I'll tell Holly to give her a call, as long as the food isn't too green. I'm not doing the whole nothing-but-greens-on-my-plate thing again."

Ollie laughed. "I promise."

"Ready, Peck?"

Gail spun to meet who was in the doorway, and was faced with an awaiting Detective Anderson.

"Yup." She turned to Ollie, "don't stay here all night." And then she headed out to the parking lot with Frankie.

~

"Someone's at the door, it's probably the food. Be a dear and go get it." Gail told the detective as they passed in the doorway of the bathroom. Both in need of a shower after Frankie spilt half a bottle of tequila on them.

Frankie rolled her eyes, took the offered shirt out of Gail's hand and headed down the stairs.

Gail turned on the hottest water she could handle and undressed, lost in what Frankie had told her before spilling their drinks on them.

_"Blind people can see that you guys are a couple, this" she gestured to Gail. "Is only news to you two."_

_Gail looked at her skeptically._

_Frankie leaned forward to pour herself another shot, downing it before turning back to the blonde._

_"That gross little feelings talk you just gave me, it's disgustingly obvious to everyone in the world, we've even got bets going on for when it'll happen. So if you could wait another two weeks that'd be awesome."_

_Gail glared at the woman. Bets? People have made bets on her and Holly?_

_"You know what, bets are a great idea. Maybe I should start a pool on when you and Price act on your stolen glances."_

What caught Gail, what spun around in her head, was the fact that -in everyone's eyes- Holly felt the same way she did. Holly got the butterflies, the heated skin, the racing pulse, the yearn for her presence. Holly wanted her in the same way she wanted Holly. And it was obvious to the world.

Being told that helped calm her fears a bit, and only left three things for her to worry over.

One, does Holly even know?

Two, how and when does she tell, Holly about her feelings?

Three, would they be willing to put their friendship on the line for it?

She strategized, and worried, and created scenarios of every possibility she could conjure up, while she washed the tequila and shock down the drain with soap.

By the end she had a game plan. A plan she was as comfortable with as she'd ever get when it came to spouting feelings.

"So Holly stopped by, or should I say mom?" Frankie asked as Gail descended the stairs. And continued before the blonde could answer. "You know, I'm pretty sure it's mom, I mean that's the impression I get from Shy."

Gail wanted nothing more than to smack the smile right off the woman's face. She knew telling Frankie was a bad idea. All it did was give the detective more ammo for pushing her buttons.

"Alright alright, cool it, Blondie. I'll drop it. After I tell you how fumed she was to find me, here alone with you, just pulling on a shirt."

Yeah, Gail really really wanted to smack that smirk off her face. But just as she was about to tear one into Frankie realization hit her instead. Holly was the one at the door. Answered by a topless Frankie. When Gail said she'd be working.

Gail groaned, dropping onto the couch with a thump, and hid under a pillow to swallow a frustrated yell.

Frankie didn't stay much longer -apparently which had nothing to do with a text from a certain redhead and everything to do with Gail's moping-, leaving after eating two rounds of the ordered Chinese food.

After which Gail went to bed. She had a lot ahead of her in the days to come, and years of sleep to catch up on.

She woke with a pounding heart, her phone shrilling into the quite of the house. She fumbled with her phone, trying to answer as fast as possible, the worst possibilities flying through her imagination.

"What happened?"

"Everyone's okay." Holly's sweet voice hit her ears, easing her to relax and flop back into her bed. Everything was okay. No one was dying, no one was in the hospital, no one got abducted by aliens. "Shy had a nightmare and wanted to see you." And just like that Gail was back into over drive.

"Okay. Um, are you bringing him or am I coming to get him?"

"He wants you to come here." Holly sounded almost dreamy.

Gail heard a kiss, a quick and seemingly gentle peck of lips to skin, just like that she was thrown into why they weren't already in bed with her. Why she wasn't woken with the usual fearful cry from her sons room, and opened her eyes to a frazzled Holly, already halfway out of the bed on her way to grab Shy and bring him to Gail.

None of those things happened because she was too afraid to face the doctor after figuring out her changed feelings. After it clicked that she was in love with Holly. Gail couldn't bring herself, couldn't trust herself, around the brunette. And so she'd been dodging Holly for the very reason her body was proving.

Gail groaned as she rolled out of bed, dreading having to face Holly, having to see sleepy Holly -one of her favourites of the doctors' moods. But at least she could get away with only talking about Shiloh. It was a get in, grab the kid, say your thanks and get the hell out of there. No more. "I'll be there in ten."

She grumbily found clothes -having taken full advantage of her empty house and went to bed in the nude- and started the short drive to Holly's apartment.

_Just get in, find Shy, thank Holly, and leave. That's it. That's all you have to do. It's nothing, five minutes tops, you can do this._  Was Gail's mantra the entire trip there.

Once in the apartment Gail only stopped to take off her shoes, knowing Holly would kill her if she didn't, and went right to the soft stream of light coming from Holly's room. She took a deep breath, calming her nerves, and taking a second to stare at the two she loved most in the world cuddle in bed, before entering the room.

She pushed into the room that smelled of home and scooped up her son, cradling him into her arms. "I've been told you've had a bad dream. Wanna tell me about it?"

Shiloh's cheeks were tear stained, his beautiful eyes tainted with red, Gail had never gotten used to the overwhelming crush of her heart, the collapse of her lungs, when the boy hurt in anyway. She hated that he had to go through the same shit life handed to everyone.

"You got shot, and mommy left me. Even after I asked her to stay." Shy whispered in the unsteady way a voice does after crying.

Gail's eyes shut tightly, willing herself not to cry. What she hated more than Shiloh in pain, was Shiloh in pain because of her. She'd made it her life's mission to ease as much of his pain as she possibly could, but one thing she could never save him from was herself. Her job was scary and unpredictable. And now she was making him worry about Holly leaving.

She opened her eyes and searched for the brunette, needing that reassurance she knew would be oozing from Holly. Gail's breath caught in her throat at the first sight of the comforting amber gaze. Just as fast, she glanced back at the awaiting four year old in her arms, the warm body she was swaying from side to side.

"I can promise you that I'm one hundred percent bullet free, and that Lunchbox isn't going anywhere." She spoke lightly to the boy, using her calming go-to-sleep voice, and running her hand up and down the softened onesie he wore.

It was Holly's favourite onesie, she'd worn it until she out grew it and then some, and it was looking like Shiloh was going to do the same. It was already that little bit too high on his arms and legs, the monkeys stretched to cover every part it was supposed to. The fabric was wearing out, a few small holes here and there, but all of the love only made it that much softer, like that one pair of jeans you'd wear for years on end.

"And I know for a fact that she wouldn't ever go if you asked her to stay."

Shiloh searched her face. "Never ever?"

"Never ever." Gail confirmed with a gentle smile.

"And you're ok?" The worry was evident in his little voice.

"I could let you examine me, but it's late and I'm exhausted."

She felt the rumble of Shy's laugh against her ribs, making her ease at the fact that he was okay, he was giggling in her arms. Her heart fluttered then, Holly was laughing too. Laughing her adorable, sleepy, amused chuckle. Which brought Gail's attention back to her. She met Holly's stare, and her heart sped up, worked a little harder to send blood to her head that was daring to float away.

This was what she wanted to come home to every night, Shiloh and Holly. This, their laughter filling the late night silence, their beautiful smiles glowing in the warm light of the night, this was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

"Then let's go to bed." Shy nodded as best he could.

"Give Lunchbox some kisses and let's get going." Gail laid him in the spot she'd grabbed him from. Eager to run away from everything Holly was making her feel, to run away and start her plan when she was more equip. But Gail dreaded having to wait. Having to run time and time again, to be so Gail and not be able to deal and express her emotions like an adult.

Shiloh's face twisted as he looked at her in bewilderment. "No. I want both of you, all of us together in the same bed."

Gail's stomach dropped. She swallowed down a cough, and shifted uncomfortably. There was no way to say no, not after a bad dream and this was his only request.

Suddenly she was on the bed, a tiny hand grasping her sweater, body that owned said hand directly under her. Gail tried to catch herself from falling completely on the boy, in fear of crushing his bones, and almost ended up on the floor instead. Luckily she was quick enough to steady herself before that happened, and Gail settled into a comfortable position beside her son.

Shiloh then grabbed Holly's hand and pulled her closer, so that each woman was breathing just over his head, and placed it on his chest, burring his cold nose against Gail's shoulder. 

Gail sighed and leaned over the two brunets, pulling on the little chain on the bedside lamp to turn out the only light in the house, making their mornings plan official. She stared at the back of her eyelids, waiting for sleep to out weigh the excitement running in her veins and take her away.

"G'night, Mama." Shy's hot breath soaked into her skin.

Without opening her eyes, Gail kissed the top of his head. "Sweet dreams, Shiloh."

He gave out a long yawn, making Gail and Holly do the same.

"G'night, Mommy." Shy mumbled, sleep slowly laying claim on him.

Gail's eyes shot open. Mommy. Again with mommy, why did he have to continually do this -he better not be this defiant when older. Her gaze glued to Holly, waiting for the doctor to react, but it never came.

Holly just kissed the top of his head like Gail had, the corners of her lips curved up slightly as she whispered her goodnight.

Gail's breath caught in her chest, Holly was just inches away, a lump grew in her throat causing all oxygen to seize. She could feel the lengthy exhale Holly gave after taking in a breath of Shiloh's hair, she could feel the heat, smell the tea Holly no doubt had after dinner. It was intoxicating.

Gail leaned in closer, letting herself be immersed in everything that was Holly Stewart. She breathed in deeply, drinking in the scent of Holly's minty shampoo that was embedded in the pillows, the cinnamon candle she burned every time she came home, the always fresh laundry. As her lungs pumped with gleeful ease, her eyes happily bathed in the sight of the brunette. Holly was huddled closely into the right side of Shiloh, much in the same way Gail was.

The boy laid on his back with his nose buried into Gail's shoulder, one hand clutching at the blanket around them, the other held tightly onto Holly's hand that stayed on his chest. Gail and Holly laid on either side of him, both facing Shy -and each other- and cuddling into him without doing so with one another.

Gail let herself stare. Let herself take in every intimate detail of Holly she could see in the dim light of the moon. Let herself unabashedly watch as Holly comforted Shiloh into a peaceful slumber, as Holly snuggled into the boy before finally opening her eyes and look right back at Gail. It felt like she'd been punched in the gut at the look in Holly's eyes, at the emotion hidden behind the deep pools of amber.

They stayed like that, staring at one another, asking millions of unspoken questions, of unshed feelings, until Gail's got the better of her. A tsunami of emotion hit her.

Her feelings for Holly.

How much she'd missed this, them together.

The guilt.

Shiloh's dream.

The boys dream and the implication that it was due to her, was what did her in. After that sweet realization hit there was no holding back her tears, no stopping the silent pleas of forgiveness and promises of it never happening again. Gail tried kissing it away, clutching to Shiloh's pajama just under Holly's hand.

Gail was the cause of a nightmare her son woke up crying over, and she didn't think she could ever forgive herself for that. It could have been avoided, if only Gail hadn't had to run from her feelings.

Gail was pulled from her thoughts as a warm, soft hand placed itself over hers, easing her death grip on the monkey onesie and acting as an anchor. She followed the arm all the way up until she was met with a worried, heartbroken gaze. Holly. Of course it was Holly, it was always Holly, good or bad.

And then there were lips on her own, impossibly soft and warm lips pressed gently, reassuringly, against hers. A cold nose next to hers. A barely touching forehead. Gail recognized these things, could see and feel them, but she didn't react. Her brain had stopped communicating with the rest of her body. She was screaming at her lips to reciprocate, to close her eyes and get lost in the moment, to do the one thing she's been dreaming of -the very reason she's deprived herself of the woman who's bed she was lying in- for over the past month. But her stupid brain was shocked still. And so Gail laid there, motionless, as Holly kissed her and backed off almost as quickly as she'd leaned in.

"I'm sorry." Holly backed off as far as the bed would allow, her voice scratchy with something Gail couldn't put her finger on. Her usually soft brown eyes darkened. "You were-and I just. I-I couldn't stand-"

Gail was hazy on what the brunette was going on about, her head back a few seconds still in shock that Holly had kissed her. Holly kissed her.  _Doctor Holly Erin Stewart, kissed her, Gail Peck_.

Gail's lips tingled, the taste of minty chapstick lingered on her tongue. She'd smile if it weren't for the burning hot panic that was settling into the pit of her stomach.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go, this wasn't the plan, Holly was supposed to just stay her friend until she found the courage to spout her feelings and have an adult conversation about it. Gail wasn't in least ready for that conversation, for her heart to be put on the line so vulnerably like that.

Holly abruptly got out of bed, her hair wild and tangled, "I'm sorry." She started pacing back and forth, much in the same way she did when antsy or frustrated over a case. "I shouldn't have done that, I take it back. Please just, just don't run away again." She stopped and looked straight into Gail's eyes, bringing the blonde back to the moment. "Please." Her voice cracked with the weight of the plea.

Gail stared back at the frazzled doctor, deciding between her overwhelming desire to hold Holly close and tell her that she couldn't bare to disappear again, and her fear screaming at her to bolt -she'd been avoiding Holly all this time, it couldn't possibly get any harder.

"I'm not going anywhere, Lunchbox, now come back to bed before the kid wakes and gives you trouble for getting out. We both know how ruthless Shy is with his punishments."

Holly visibly relaxed, although she was still hesitant to get into her bed, and the guard in her eyes was still on high alert. She slowly tucked herself in, lying just sort of Shiloh's reach, and facing the ceiling.

Gail knew the brunette wouldn't get to sleep unless she was on her side, that'd she lie there until she went to sleep and then she'd turn over and drift off. But she didn't say anything or make any moves to help, there wasn't anything she could do, all there was left was sleep. So that's what Gail did.

 

**_A/N: Thank you for reading, I really hope you liked it!! Please feel free to yell at me any time c:_ **

 


	7. Not Chapter 7 Just A Cute Short

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiloh's first words aren't mama and Gail isn't happy about it

Gail went to answer the door, grumbling to herself. She was in a mood and whoever was at the door was going to get a face full of it, especially if it was who she thought it was.

She glared at the brunette on the other side and crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry, I forgot my keys in my car and I just didn't feel like going all the way back down." Holly smiled, the blondes glare not affecting her in the least.

"You can't come in." Gail informed her friend and roommate.

Holly chuckled, then abruptly stopped after seeing the seriousness in Gail's eyes, her stance shutting her out of their apartment. "What, why?"

"I hate you."

Holly cracked a small smile. "No you don't, you love me. Plus I pay half the rent."

Gail didn't move so she went to squeeze past her. The blonde held her stance, unmoving. "You aren't allowed in."

Holly sighed, she knew Gail wasn't going to relent, not when she was able to hold her gaze. "Why do you hate me, Gail?"

She watched as Gail's jaw clenched and she turned her head almost defiantly. She waited patiently for the blonde to find her words, but that quickly went away as a cry came from inside. Both women's heads snapped to look into the apartment, Gail was the first inside, not caring about Holly and going straight to the gated space in their living room.

Gail leaned down and scooped up the crying boy, bouncing him on her hip as she deduced why he was screaming. She checked for injuries, his diaper, and when both came up empty she began to coo at him, maybe they were just gone for too long. Shiloh had always been one to need someone around at all times, to at least hear that someone was near.

"It's okay Shy. I'm right here, mama's right here." Gail hummed calmly into his curls, never ending the rock-bounce thing he'd always liked.

Holly approached slowly, concern written all over her, a million possibilities racing through her head. What if he fell and hit his head and it just didn't leave a mark? What if there was internal bleeding? After a few steps of worrying reality kicked in, rationally it was probably something much simpler, like hunger, wanting attention. "Has he had dinner yet?"

Both Pecks looked to her, Gail in a worried daze -she really hated when her son cried-, and Shiloh's wails came to a sudden stop. His face broke out into a wide smile, a glimmer in his blue eyes from crying, and he immediately started reaching for her with grabby hands.

Holly couldn't help but smile at the eight month old and take those few more steps so she was within reach. She held out her arms for the transfer when it happened, Shiloh's first words.

"Holly!" He exclaimed, and looked to his mom for the nod that he got it right.

"Yeah. Holly." She didn't smile, she wasn't excited, and gave in to what the boy wanted. "I'll go heat his food." Gail's voice was void of all emotion as she handed off the curly hair baby to Holly and went to the kitchen.

Holly was stunned. Shiloh had said his first word, they'd been practicing with him for the past month, sitting on the edge of their seats for what it would be. And he'd done it, he'd spoken, and it was her name. Shiloh had said her name.

"Fuck." She cursed under her breath. Shiloh had said her name and not Gail's, not the 'mama' they had taught him. Holly smiled at the beaming baby boy and wiped the tear stains off of his dark, chubby cheeks. Bouncing him she reprimanded with a coo, "why couldn't you have just said mama? I mean, I love you for saying  _my_  name, you've got no idea how much. It's very flattering. But mama loves you too, possibly more than me, but that's hard to tell..."

Holly was babbling. Again. She did that when she was flustered, and boy was she. First she was filled with love and adoration for Shiloh, excited that he had started talking, and then overwhelmed with guilt that it had been her and not Gail. She didn't know what to do, how to make it better.

"Gail?" She hesitantly said from the doorway of the kitchen.

She grunted in reply.

"I'm sorry." Holly almost whispered.

"It's whatever." She shrugged and continued preparing Shiloh's food. "He said his first word, it's an exciting joyous occasion."

When Holly didn't answer Gail turned to face her, she kept her emotions in check -they were petty and childish anyway- and smiled. "Seriously."

She searched the blue eyes of her best friend, she knew she wasn't okay, but she was trying to be and that's what counted when it came to Gail. "He loves you, you know."

Gail smiled as she gazed at her son trying to untangle his fingers from Holly's hairs, a very concentrated expression furrowed his brows. She sighed. "I know."

~

Later that night Gail was sprawled out on the floor of the hallway, Holly sat on the other end a few feet away, and Shiloh was being set up for the umpteenth time to try and crawl.

Holly had let the first word thing drop, letting Gail be low key grumpy the rest of the evening. The blonde said few words, but mostly stuck to their regular habits of dinner together in their tiny dining space, TV, bath, and some sort of learning activity before bed. That nights activity was trying to get him to crawl.

"Go to mama." Holly cheered and pointed to the blonde.

Shiloh rocked on his hands and knees in his spot of an arms length away from Holly. He was giggling with joy for all of the undivided attention he was getting. Knowing that not quite doing as he was told was a sure-fire way to get more.

"Common. Right here, Shy." Gail clapped her hands together.

Holly patted his diapered, pyjama clad butt in encouragement. "Go to-"

"Mama!" He exclaimed.

Both women stopped, their lungs caught their breath, and found each other's gazes. They split out into cheers and wide smiles, Holly clapped and told him how good of a job he did.

"Mama. Mama. Mama." He continued to repeat, loving all of the praise.

Gail squirmed into her feet and swung the boy into the air, catching him she beamed and planted kiss after kiss all over his face and neck and tummy.

"In your face, Lunchbox!" She stuck her tongue out at the brunette and continued to twirl the boy around.

Holly laughed, overjoyed that she wouldn't have to make up for earlier the next day, but mostly because of how happy the moment was for her best friend. Gail had been waiting for Shiloh to talk since before he was born, the blonde had always been captured by what her child would turn out to be like and talking had a big part in personality.

She pulled out her phone and took a picture, she wanted to remember this moment, this feeling. She waited another moment before sending it out to Traci and her mom with the caption  _'guess who just said mama'._

 

**_A/N: I hope you liked it!! Chapter 7 shouldn't be a long wait, I was almost done when my computer crashed and I lost a bunch of it. So I've been discouraged to go back and rewrite._ **


	8. Another Short

"What are we having for dinner tonight?" Holly asked absently as she looked through heads of broccoli for the best one.

"I don't know, what're we having?"

She sighed and looked back to the cart Gail was idly pushing along, not helping in the least. Which was probably why she'd asked Holly to join her at the grocery store. "I'm not doing everything again."

"You didn't do  _everything_  last time, I loaded and brought in all the bags. Besides, who would entertain Shy, he needs the attention or else he'll start screaming. We wouldn't want that would we?"

Holly rolled her eyes and went back to picking out the vegetables. "He's asleep, Gail."

"Only because I got him to. If I stop the gentle rocking and soft coos of all of the cheese puff recipes there are for him when he's older, then he'll wake up and the whole store will know." Gail spoke as if it was life and death and Holly didn't understand the reality of the situation.

Holly sighed and walked down the isle to the next one, Gail only a step behind.

"So what are we having? I'm really actually really hungry." Gail bumped her with the cart.

"You say that like it isn't a constant feeling of yours." She said and threw in a few boxes of granola bars.

"Can we get one box of yours and one box of the peanut butter ones?" Gail used her 'pretty please' voice.

She tried to resist, tired to say that they'd have to share the peanut ones if they did that, but she knew it was futile. Gail was going to get what she wanted and she was going to eat them all. Looked liked like she'd have to go without a few days. Holly took one of the boxes out of the cart and switched it for one of Gail's preference.

"Thank you, Lunchbox." Gail smiled sweetly.

They weaved through the store in similar fashion, Gail would make requests and Holly would either give or take, she'd be bumped with the cart when nothing had been said in a while, Gail would coo to her sleeping son. Just as they did almost every week. Holly secretly loved when they shopped together, without Gail and Shiloh it felt wrong. It was boring and she never got any real treats, which she would later miss in the week and have to go back out to get.

Her friends had told her their concerns about her and Gail's relationship, or lack there of, and sometimes she could see it. She could see why they'd be worried. She was practically a parent to a kid that wasn't hers, she lost nights of sleep, nights out, was wholly single because it was written all over that there was baby very very close to her heart and most assumed it was hers. She'd be worried for her if roles were reversed, but they weren't and she was on the side that it doesn't matter and she's happy with how her life was going. She loved Shiloh and Gail, and she wouldn't abandon them for a life on her own.

"Holly?" Gail called as if to bring her back to earth.

"Yeah?" She blinked a few times to focus and turned to her best friend.

Gail looked to the baby in her arms and back up, "are you going to help me or are you going to stare at the cereal forever?"

That's when she was really brought back to reality. Shiloh was wailing, his face red -which was feat seeing as how dark his skin was-, arms and legs flailing about. Gail was trying to calm him by bouncing.

Holly set into parent mood and opened the diaper bag -a backpack because that was all Gail would use- "diaper, soother or bottle?"

"I think he's probably hungry."

She looked in the regular spot they put the bottles and found it was empty, then she dug around and came to the convulsion that they'd forgotten to pack one. So she took out the sling and turned to the blonde. "I know you don't particularly like feeding in public but the baby wants what the baby wants."

Gail groaned. "We forgot again?"

Holly nodded sympavthictlly. "You could go to the car or home or something, I can finish by myself."

Gail ignored her and passed her Shiloh, who's cries were getting louder somehow, as she situated the soft fabric of the sling over her shoulder. Holly bounced and rocked the baby, "one second Shy, mama's almost ready."

Once Gail was done, Holly carefully laid Shiloh into the sling and then helped the blonde get him into place. It always amused Holly how shameless her friend was about breast feeding, for one who didn't like doing it in public she sure didn't hide it. As the cries turned into the soft familiar sounds of suckling, something you wouldn't really hear unless you listened for it, she turned back to the cereal and they continued shopping.

Sure Gail had gotten a few glares, a few too long stares, but she handled them with the grace only she could muster. She flipped them off and called them out, embarrassing them in front of all passing by. Holly would giggle and stop her before she'd finish what they had started.

The cart was full by the time Shiloh had finished, usually he'd fall asleep but of course he didn't that time and instead he was being fussy. Cries filled the store again, and Gail began soothing him. Rocking back and forth, swaying from side to side, and she talked to him. Holly was putting the carts contents on the conveyer belt when it had started, internally groaning. Why couldn't Shy have waited ten more minutes?

It went on, Gail tried a binky, singing -another thing she didn't like doing in public but these were desperate times-, and nothing was working until finally she passed him off to Holly. Gail almost threw the food onto the counter, piling the stuff in hopes it would help it go faster.

"Shy can you please wait until we are home. There you can cry your little lungs out, okay?" Holly murmured to the baby she held tight to her chest.

Magically a few minutes later he stopped. They both sighed with relief and Holly apologized to their general area. She let Gail finish ringing through their groceries, and enjoyed the view of Shy. His face hadn't gotten red yet but it was darker than usual, so she watched it fade away with nothing but adoration. Once he'd been born Holly understood what it was like to go from wanting to throw him out the window one minute and then feel nothing but love and adoration the next, it was so seamless she hardly noticed.

"Holly?"

Her head popped up at the oddly familiar voice and she was met with an older woman smiling at her and Shy. She absently flattened out his tiny sweater as she tried to place the woman. She knew her, really knew her, but it wasn't coming to mind how.

"Beth." The woman supplied, her smile never faltering.

It clicked in her head and she almost squealed with excitement. "Oh my god, Beth!" The woman standing before her was one of her favourite people growing up. Beth had taught her many many things, had sat in the almost barren library and they read side by side -Holly broke the silence every once and awhile to ask what a word was or what it meant- until dark, she'd helped Holly learn to study, she'd even babysat her some nights at the library with a few other kids. And Beth was the one to inspire her to be a doctor. It'd been years since she's last seen the curly haired woman, at least since her first break back in her first year of college.

"Careful there chicken, don't want to drop such a beautiful baby." Beth chuckled.

"Yeah. Right, sorry." She fumbled out, her cheeks growing pink. Holly looked down at Shy then, tucked into her and sleeping soundly, and her chest heaved with love. She gently straightened out his tiny sweater and met the woman's stare. "This is Shiloh."

"Beautiful name for such a sweet baby." Beth said fondly, gazing over every tiny piece of him. "You've done a great job with this one, chicken." She wiggled one of his sock clad feet.

"Oh it's not me who you should be congratulating, it's Gail, she's the one who did all the work." Holly was quick to correct the librarian.

"Well where is this Gail?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye, her smile growing and maybe even turning into a smirk.

Holly pointed to the blonde who was loading the cart with their bags, completely oblivious to everything but doing that. So she called out to her and waved her over. Gail obliged a little disgruntled, she just wanted to get out of the store.

"This is Beth." Holly chimed.

Gail's eyes grew, a bright smile stretching across her face. "Beth-Beth?" She questioned.

Holly nodded enthusiastically.

"Wow, hi. I'm Gail." She held out her hand to the older woman. "I've heard a lot about the librarian that inspired Holly to be a doctor."

Beth took her hand with a light blush. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Gail. Id like to say I've heard a lot about but this is the first I'm hearing anything. Which is a shame, this little guy is a sight for sore eyes."

"My apologize, Beth, we've been very busy since we found out about him. A baby is a lot more work and planning than I had thought." Gail chuckled.

Holly tuned out. She was happy they got to meet, Beth had been a big part of her childhood and Gail was her best friend, she's told countless stories about the curly haired woman and Gail had always wanted to meet her. And she was happier to see Gail let her guard down the little bit she had with talking to Beth, she'd genuinely apologized and Gail Peck was not known for that.

"It was very nice running into you, chicken, and I look forward to your visit." Beth laid a hand on her shoulder, just as she always had, and walked away.

"Bye Beth." She called after her.

Holly went to turn to Gail but she wasn't there, instead she was back to lapsing the cart and the guy behind the register was look impatient. She smiled at him and dug her wallet out of her pocket to pay. She'd gotten really good at doing things one handedly in the past month.

Back at the car, all of the groceries in the back and everyone buckled in, Gail pulled out of the parking lot with a big grin on her face, and it wasn't her 'I just got cheese puffs' smile.

"What's got miss Peck smiling now so wide?" Holly poked her side.

"I think Beth is under the impression that we are married with a new born, and she had no idea about it until today." Gail beamed, very amused at the idea.

Holly scoffed. "No way. She knows I'd have invited her to my wedding. Besides I told her Shy was yours and not mine." She waved off the comment but doubt was setting in. She had made it clear right? Beth didn't think her and Gail were married and Shiloh was theirs, did she?

Gail laughed. "I don't think did, chicken. But you can clear things up when we go to visit her at the library in two weeks. She wanted to knit some things for Shy seeing as how she didn't get to before he was born." She teasingly glanced at her best friend.

Holly groaned. Beth thought she was married to Gail, mine as well add her to the list of people she needed to correct.

**_A/N: I hope you liked it!! Again, chapter seven shouldn't be too long to finish. Thanks for reading_ **


	9. Chapter 7

Holly stretched as she woke, her internal clock not allowing her to sleep in on her day off. Something was off though, her bed was too warm, squishy, and better yet it was breathing. Beds don't breathe. Her eyes fluttered open, and she squinted into the bright light of the morning sun -Holly cursed herself for forgetting to close the curtains  _again_ -, and found not one but two people. There laid her two people, Gail and Shiloh, tucked in under her arm.

Gail was on her back, face flushed with the light pink she dawned when sleeping, one arm thrown above her mess of blonde hair, and her other arm held protectively to the boy on her chest. Shy was on his stomach, mouth opened into an adorable fish kiss, one hand placed in Holly's hair. And Holly was cuddled into the blondes side, her nose almost touching the arm above Gail's head, her hand rested on Gail's hip, holding the two Pecks close to her.

The previous night came rushing back. Frankie, Shy's nightmare, Gail showing up in her sweater, Shy forcing them into the same bed, Gail crying, the kiss. God, the kiss. Holly's lips tingled at the memory, which meant something right? It meant that the burning desire that coursed through her veins well into the night wasn't just a fluke. It meant that she wasn't delusional the previous night, the butterflies were real, her racing pulse hadn't lied. But that also meant she was screwed.

Gail hadn't kissed her back. She hadn't experienced any of what Holly did, she didn't have her world shaken like a snow globe. Holly was alone and now had to navigate feelings for her best friend.

But there was one good thing, one very comforting thing, Gail had promised to stay.

Holly smiled happily and pulled the two closer, they weren't going anywhere, Gail promised -even after she'd kissed her. She stayed like that for a while, watching the shallow ins and outs of Gail and Shiloh's breaths, the tiny crinkle of Shy's nose when he pulled her hair to his face. That's when it hit Holly, she wanted this.

She wanted this, the three of them, everyday. Forever. It wasn't just feelings for Gail, it hadn't been for a while. No, Holly was in love with the woman in her arms.

She let go of them immediately, and wiggled out of the bed. It was a lot so suddenly, Holly didn't know what to do, her mind started to tell her everything that was wrong, what could go wrong, how horrible of a person she was, how stupid she was for doing this. The list went on, all scenarios being yelled in her ear at the same time.

She needed to take a breather, calm her mind.

So Holly got dressed, wrote a note, grabbed her headphones, and went for a run.

~

Gail was happy to wake up alone, it meant not having to deal with avoiding a rush of adoration at the sight of a sleeping Holly, but she was still surrounded by everything Holly Stewart and that didn't help in her quest to keep her emotions in check. Sure Holly had kissed her -the thought brought a warmth to her chest. Her lips were just as wonderful as Gail had imagined-, but it didn't mean anything on her end, she'd freaked out and apologized right after.

 _It was for comfort and nothing more_ , Gail reminded herself as she started to drift into dreams of another kiss, a much longer, heated kiss. She sighed and rolled out of the bed.

Gail shivered once out of the warm cocoon of blankets, despising her choice of boxers and not pants. What had she been thinking? She quickly swiped the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around her so only her face could be seen.

She shuffled out into the living room, expecting to find Holly and Shiloh doing something educational -Holly was very good at finding a way to make every task a way to learn or exercise mind/body-, and instead found her son wrapped up in his Buzz Lightyear blanky in the same way she was with hers, sitting on the soft rug in front of the TV. Gail's heart boiled over with love, and poured over into every cell in every vein of her body.

Gail didn't say anything as she joined the boy on the floor, the two just grunted at each other and turned back to the TV. Scooby-Doo. She liked that show, and was very happy Shy chose it over a lot of the newer kids shows, most of those were too happy and colourful for her taste.

"Mama, I'm hungry." Shy commented casually.

"Is Lunchbox not making food?" Gail questioned. She'd assumed if the brunette wasn't in the room with Shy then she had to be in the kitchen.

"No. Mommy wasn't here when I woke up. But there was a note on my sippy." Shiloh's hand popped out the blanket, revealing his sippy cup, and attached was a bright pink sticky note.

Gail had to laugh a little, because of course Holly would leave the note on his morning cup of milk, which also she stopped to make before leaving. Leaving wherever before anyone else woke... She took the note out of his little hand and read it.

_Gone for a run. Don't know when I'll be back. There's left over pizza in the fridge, please leave me a slice_

_-Holly xo_

Xo, she could use some X's and O's from Holly.

"She's out for a run, and has advised us to eat the left over pizza. Sound good?" Gail turned to her son. She'd never tire of looking at him, of marveling at the fact that she'd made him.  _She'd_  made him, something so good, so pure and wonderful.

Gail knew it wasn't just her, that it took two to make a human, but she did have the biggest, most important part. And Shiloh's father shouldn't even get half the credit. Holly should, all that guy did was knock her up. True he did have some pretty great genes, Shiloh was a very good looking kid and Gail knew most of his features were not her own, but that was all the credit the guy would get. Shiloh was his amazing self because of her and Holly, and that was it.

Shy hummed in agreement, his cup resting in his mouth.

Gail scrabbled to her feet and went to the kitchen. She pulled out the pizza box from the fridge and made two plates, then started the coffee maker. She grinned like a fool when she found it ready for her to just turn on, it was those little details that made it so hard for her to swallow her feelings for Holly. Gail needed to tell her, and soon, she was afraid it was going to burst out of her without any consent. And she'd much prefer it to be planned, after preparing and readying herself for rejection.

~

Holly returned home after hours of running, it was the longest she'd gone on a while, the extra time was needed in her attempt to gather herself. Which she did do. The fact that she loved Gail didn't take much to get over, it was something that felt natural, right. So it wasn't hard to get over the shock, which was all it was really, just shock. It was all that came with it that had her running for so long.

There was how she was going to deal with it, does she tell Gail or does she leave it. Could she leave it? If she told Gail, how would that go. If for some wildly blessed reason, Gail felt the same way, were they going to act on it and set their friendship on a hang wire with no safety net.

Holly walked into her living room and found her little Peck's, snug in warm blankets, on the floor, and playing Mario-Go-Cart. There were empty plates and cups -one mug, one sippy- between them, presumably their breakfast. Holly's chest constricted with adoration at the scene.

"I'm glad that thing's finally being used, it's been collecting dust from your lack of playing." She grinned at the two from behind the couch.

"You know you could always play too. God, knows you need the practice." Gail retorted as she dodged a banana peal.

"Practice would do me no help, we've tried before, remember that one winter break we spent in my dorm playing nothing but video games and eating take out?" Holly reminded the blonde with an air of amusement.

Gail won and turned around to face the brunette, her face instantly brightening, a twinkle in her eye. "That was a pretty great holiday."

"It was." She agreed, lost in the beat of her pulse and blue eyes.

"What's a dorm?" Asked a small voice.

The question snapped both women out of their daze. "It's kind of like an apartment, but with much smaller rooms, and for college students." Gail explained.

"I'm really gross and sweaty, so I'm going to shower and change, then we can do something for lunch. Unless you guys have plans or" Holly trailed off at the end. She really hoped they didn't have anything, it had been weeks since they last had a day together and she didn't want it to end so soon.

"I don't have any plans." Gail turned to Shy, "do you?"

"I do have a two o'clock meeting, but I  _guess_  I can re-schedule." Shiloh deadpanned.

Both women burst into laughter, and Shy sat up straighter with a big grin plastered on his face.

"Only if it's something you can shuffle around, I wouldn't want you to get in any trouble." Gail replied, still chuckling.

Shy shrugged. "I call the shots at the office."

"Well thank you for bending the rules to spend the day with mom and I." Holly said seriously with a strong head nod and tight lips. Gail could see her trying to hide a smile.

"Anything for my mommies." He flashed them a dazzling, charming grin, one Steve did often.

Holly's heart soared. This time was different from the other times Shiloh had called her mom, this time had more feeling attached. She didn't just feel like mom, she didn't just want to be mom, she craved it. It was like getting a drop of water after being dehydrated for days, a delicious tease.

A flash of something Holly couldn't put her finger on went across Gail's face, her jaw clenched for a split second, and she bit the inside of her cheek.

"Well, I'm just going to," Holly stammered, pointing in the direction of the bath room. She needed an out, a moment to gather what just happened. 

Gail nodded. Shiloh turned back to the TV.

There was a new breath to their dynamic, a new glow, Gail couldn't quite put her finger on it. Everything was laced with an energy, an underlining current. And there was a look Holly kept giving her when the brunette thought she wasn't looking, there was an affection she'd never seen in Holly's eyes before, a daze.

She'd of course stolen glances of her own, there was no way she couldn't, Holly was absolutely gorgeous. And seeing her play with Shiloh, talk with him and laugh at his quick witted come backs, it was mesmerizing.

And even Shiloh had been different. He was more confident, out shone his normal smile, and relaxed more and more as the day went on. Gail had a feeling it had to do with them being together again, and that they still hadn't corrected him in calling Holly mom.

"Can mommy stay?" Shy quietly asked as Gail tucked him into bed.

Gail finished and sat beside him. "I'm not sure, you'll have to ask her when she comes in."

"Today was awesome." He yawned.

"It was pretty fun, wasn't it?"

Shy nodded. "I like when we all play together, even when mommy keeps dying and accidentally shooting us, it's funny."

"It can be amusing how bad she is. Especially when she starts getting all flustered and decides to watch instead." Gail chuckled.

"And when she throws the controller because it's the reason she keeps dying." Shiloh mused, a sleepy smile gracing his delicate features.

Gail ran her fingers through his hair, making him close his eyes and settled into the caress. "That is pretty funny."

"Mama?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Thank you for making up with Mommy, I missed being together." Shy opened his eyes and met hers.

Gail smiled weakly and brushed the back of her knuckles across his freckles. "I missed it too."

"So did I."

Both Gail and Shiloh's eyes shot to the bed room door where Holly stood leaning against the frame. Holly smiled and walked over to the bed, and sat next to Gail.

"Eavesdropping again, Stewart?" Gail teased.

"Maybe just a little." She winked.

"Can you stay over tonight?" Shiloh looked to Holly with pleading eyes.

Holly's eyes flicked to Gail's, asking her if it was okay or not, they hadn't had time to talk and she wasn't sure where they stood with each other. "As long as I still have clothes here, I guess I could."

"Still don't want to share my things?" Gail smirked.

"Not nearly enough fleece or backpacks, remember." Holly have her a crooked smile.

They both turned back to the half asleep four year old. "She'll be here when you wake up for school."

Shy smiled in reply, his eyes closed.

"Night night, don't let the bed bug bite." Gail kissed his forehead and stood up to give Holly room to do the same.

"Sweet dreams, love." Holly whispered and kissed his cheek. She brushed his hair from his face and stood, joining Gail at his door.

"We love you." Gail said and turned out the light, closing the door until just an inch of light shone through. She knew what was to come now that Shy was in bed, now that they were alone. It was time to face it all. But perhaps she could post-pone that conversation for just a little bit longer, she really didn't want to pop the bubble of what they'd found throughout the day, she didn't want the possibility of it all changing happening so soon.

"Oliver asked me to tell you to call Celery, it's been awhile since our last dinner together and she wanted to plan one soon. Something about not being able to recognize us." Gail rambled off as they went down the stairs.

"I'll call her tomorrow. When will you be free?"

They reached the bottom of the stairs and Gail led them into the kitchen. "Friday, but if that doesn't work then whenever's cool, I can just get Oliver to shuffle my schedule."

"Okay."

It was slowly getting more and more awkward, a tension was building, they both were holding back as they were unsure of where they stood in their relationship. That was a first for them. Sure they had had their fights before, but neither had ever doubted or were ever unsure of their friendship, of their feelings. Gail opened the cupboard above the fridge and pulled out the bottle of tequila.

"Let's have a shot or two before we talk." she told more than ask, and pulled down two shot glasses. Holly had bought them the day after they got drunk using Shiloh's cups.

Holly didn't say anything as she watched the blonde swiftly move around her kitchen, never making eye contact. It was in such contrast to the rest of the day. Gail poured their shots and handed one to the brunette, finally meeting her heartfelt gaze. With a clink of their glasses they both shot them back with a wince from Holly.

Gail poured herself another and offered one to her friend, which was passed with a small shake of her head.

"I'm sorry, Holly, for everything." She took the shot and set the glass on the counter. "I ran from my problems and I'm sorry."

"But why did you run from  _me_?" Holly's voice was just above a whisper, filled with vulnerability. "Did I do something?"

"No." Without thought Gail's hand reached out and touched the brunette's arm in a desperate attempt to comfort. "No, it wasn't anything you did. It was me."

"Then why did you run from me, you know I wouldn't have pushed you if you didn't need it. How many times have I proven that to you?"

Gail's heart sank at the crack in Holly's voice, she knew the brunette was going to cry soon, her beautiful brown eyes were beginning to glaze over but she was trying to be strong, demanding. She hated that it'd come to this, that she messed up so badly that she was making Holly cry.

"I wasn't trying to run from you, Hol, I was running from myself. I was," She swallowed down the growing lump in her throat. "I was taking a step back and trying to deal with something, for once in my life I didn't want to run, I  _couldn't_ run."

"I still don't get why you had to ignore me in the process then. If it wasn't anything I did, and I wasn't going to pry, why ignore me." Holly's frustration was growing, Gail could hear it in her voice, see it in her gestures. "And it wasn't just you that you kept from me, it was Shiloh too. It was my  _family_  that you kept from me. And I didn't even know why. I had no idea why I was being punished, I spent nights going over and over what I could have possibly done."

Gail stayed quiet and let the brunette get everything out, she deserved to say her piece, to tell Gail every which way she hurt her. And Gail deserved to hear and feel everything thrown her way.

"You left me in the dark, alone and confused, and I just want to know why." Holly's tears flowed freely down her cheeks and onto her shirt.

Gail took a step back, giving herself space, and leaned against the counter across from the brunette. She wanted to close the space between them, hold the brunette and tell her how much she meant to her, how deeply she loved her, how gut wrenchingly sorry she was, but she couldn't. Holly was upset and needed the space until she could forgive her, and she needed the space to give her explanation, to have distance in case of rejection.

She began quietly, looking to the tiled floor instead of the sad, pleading eyes glued to her."I took a break from you because I was confused and scared, and I wanted to sort myself out before I caused irreversible problems. But I ended up hurting everyone in the process anyway. And for that I'm truly, truly sorry, and I'll spend forever trying to make up for it." She took a deep breath to try and steady her shaky voice. "Things changed, Hol. _I_  changed."

Gail knew it was time to tell her, to lay her heart out and pray Holly didn't crush it. She could trust her heart with Holly right? She took a deep breath in, glanced up at the brunette through her eyelashes one last time just encase it was the last time she got to see Holly look at her with the innocence of the unknown, and let out the breath with her beating heart tied to the end. "We almost kissed that night we didn't go to the restaurant. Or at least  _I_  think we did, I'm not sure if you would consider it that. I thought there was a moment, and I realized in that moment that I  _wanted_  it. I wanted you to kiss me, I wanted to run my hands in your hair, I wanted to be held by you. I wanted you. And I wanted everything that came with it." Her pulse was all she could hear, her head grew dizzy and breathing was getting harder and heard with each word. But she continued. "In that split second I found out how much I love you, how much I want you to be more apart of this family, how strongly I don't feel at home when the three of us aren't under the same roof. One second you were my best friend Holly, and the next you were the person I wanted to wake up to every day for the rest of my life."

Gail paused for a moment to let everything she just said sink in. It was out there, never to be taken back. She'd just told her best friend that she was in love with her, and she had never been more afraid in her life, totally having beat the pregnancy/parenthood scares. Because those frightening moments were spent with Holly, she knew she had Holly by her side through them, and with the brunette Gail could do anything in the world. It was freeing too, though, there was a world of weight off her chest and shoulders, and even if her lungs were working overtime to compensate for her racing heart it was still the easiest she'd breathed in weeks. 

**_A/N: Yeah so this is a thing. I'm happy you've read it, thanks for that, it mean a lot. I hope you liked it, please feel free to yell at me whenever_ **


	10. Chapter 8

She almost fell out of her seat with the news. "Are you serious?" Holly's eyes were wide with shock and disbelief.

"Pretty fucking serious." Gail's face was grim as she tossed the pregnancy test onto the table top between them.

Holly looked to the test and low and behold it was positive. "These things can lie, maybe it's just a false positive." She said hopefully.

Gail shook her head. "I took like twelve, they all had the same fucking plus sign. It's real."

Holly swallowed hard and sat back in her chair. She stared at her best friend, her  _pregnant_ best friend, and wondered what to do. How was she supposed to react? To help and support? She'd never been in the situation before, never had anyone else so close in her life confine in her such a thing. And to top it off it was Gail. Gail Peck, pregnant before her parents told her to be, that wasn't going to go over well. If that was what Gail wanted, maybe she didn't even want to keep it, maybe she was asking her to help. She was the one fresh out of school to be a doctor. Holly bit her lip, she wasn't sure how to ask nicely, but that probably wasn't the way to go with the blonde anyway. Gail hated it when people beat around the bush and sugar coated things.

"Do you know what you want to do?" She met the horrified blues she'd come to know so well.

"Not entirely." Holly nodded along sympathetically, like she knew how the blonde felt. "But-but I think I might want to keep it."

Holly opened her mouth to say something, her eyes no doubt saying all her worries before she ever could, but Gail cut her off with a hand.

"I know, I know. It's stupid, I'm childish, I know nothing of raising a child, I'm single, I'm barely making it through with the money I have and I have to go to the academy soon. And after that I'll be a rookie, my job will be stupidly dangerous, I'm a wreck of a person, vegetables aren't even on my radar of foods. I mean I live on your couch because I couldn't stand to stay home long enough to find a place of my own. People hate me, I'm cold and a bitch." Gail rushed out all of her points, at first she was strong and ready to defend but it soon changed into despair.  There was a long moment before she continued. "I shouldn't.  That was a stupid idea. Me a mother." She bitterly chuckled at the words. After a quick shake of her head she looked up into Holly's eyes and sighed heavily. "Do you know where the closest abortion clinic is?"

Holly's heart broke. Gail had been generally excited for a moment, had started to fight for something all on her own, that was something Holly hadn't been witness to many times. She didn't want to see it go over Gail's self-hate, over her insecurities, she wanted Gail to make the decision knowing everything about both sides.  Holly place a hand over her friend's. "Gail, if you truly want to abort I'll support you, but if you want to keep it then I'll do all the research and help you with everything."

"I shouldn't be a mom, Holly, I'd be terrible. I'd screw them up and we all know it."

"No you wouldn't. I promise. Know how I know?" A small smile crept it's way onto her face. Gail only met her eyes again. "Because you are already worried about it, you already want to be the best and worrying comes with the job. It's like the right of passage for parents, no matter how good you are you'll always worry about screwing them up."

"Even if that's true the other stuff I said greatly out weighs it." Gail grumbled.

"You will find money, hammy-downs and gifts will be life savers. As for housing, my lease is almost up so we can find a place and when you're ready you can leave. You'll grow up, it's inevitable, plus I'll be there too. We can do this. You can do this." She gave what was gentle answers and turned it into a pep-talk of sorts. She wasn't quite sure why, it just seemed like the right thing to do, like the thing Gail needed. She nudged Gail hand, "if it's what you want. There's nothing wrong with aborting."

Gail gave her a smile, a shy one that just reached her eyes that had began to glaze over. She nodded slowly and whispered an okay. Holly didn't know what the okay was for, whether Gail was keeping the baby or not, or maybe it was a promise to think it over, whatever it meant didn't matter as she stood and wrapped her arms around her best friend.

After that late afternoon Gail had asked Holly to do some of that research she'd promised, just so she could get an idea on what she'd be getting herself into. Turned out it was a lot. Babies were intense and children were unpredictable. But she ultimately decided she wanted it. Gail wanted the every three hour feedings, the wiping of poop for two years, the endless tears, because the smiles would be worth it. The giggles, the love, the person with endless possibilities would be worth it. There was so much more as to why she felt she wanted to keep the baby, so many of which she couldn't explain, but why didn't matter.

When in the clear, first trimester over, Gail told Steve. She asked Holly to go with her, the brunette had been there for every other step of the way, so telling everyone was going to be no different. And it helped that Holly was always ready to give any and all information needed to answer all questions which Gail on her own would struggle with. 

"You're going to have a baby?" Her brother seemed dumbfounded by the idea, stunned but amused, like it might be a joke.

"Yes idiot, That's what the is." Gail rolled her eyes and gestured to the sonogram photo in his hands.

"You, my baby sister, are pregnant and I'm going to be an Uncle." Steve stated more than questioned. He sat back in much the same way Holly had when she found out, and stared to the tiny bean Holly had shown him.

"Yes dimwit, you're going to be an Uncle." Gail huffed, she was getting annoyed. She hadn't had lunch yet and barely ate that morning, almost all food was repulsive at just the thought, and her brother was being extra annoying. 

Steve broke out into a wide smile, teeth and all, "can I keep this?"

Gail gave him a weird look. "Why?"

"To put on my fridge or wallet or something, I haven't decided yet." He looked back to the photo and up at the women again.

She shrugged and tried to hide just how happy that made her. He was still her annoying big brother, they didn't do the touchy-feely thing very often. _I guess that might have to change when Nugget comes along._

_~_

They were lounging on the couch together watching yet another Disney film as part of their marathon for the holidays. Gail wanted to brush up on all the greats, to be able to sing along with all of her favourites, so when the baby came along she'd know them all and be able to sing for them whenever it was needed. And Holly was always up for Disney so it was a win for everyone. 

"Do you know who the father is?" Holly wondered aloud. She'd wanted to ask before but she hadn't thought it to be appropriate in all of the chaos of whether or not Gail would keep the baby. 

Gail shuffled, her feet dug into Holly's ribs with the movement. "Not really. I think it was that guy from the club but I'm not sure."

"The guy with the light brown eyes and killer bone structure?" 

"Yeah. Chase, I think his name was."

Holly looked to her friend with a small grin on her lips. "At least we know the baby is going to be really pretty."

Gail let out a laugh. A full belly laugh, one that Holly hadn't heard in awhile, and it brought a bright smile to Holly. "Because the state of attractiveness is what's really on my mind when it comes to my baby."

"I'm just saying that between his looks and yours I don't think the baby will have much of a problem in that department. And if I remember correctly Chase was actually really nice, and funny. If I was to procreate he would definitely be on my list of candidates." 

"You don't think that his greatness will be washed away by my parenting?" Gail teased. 

Holly shook her head. "Nah, if anything the kid will be better for it. I like you most days, so there's that."

Gail poked her toes deep into Holly's ribs, glaring as the brunette continued to laughed.

~

Holly shot Gail an expectant glare after she ordered her food, which Gail had rolled her eyes to but sighed and tagged on some veggies to her meal. When satisfied with the blondes order she settled back into her seat and looked across to their friend Traci, who was wearing one of the most knowing smiles she'd ever seen.

"What?" Holly raised a brow.

Traci set her drink down and glanced between Holly and Gail. "You know if you guys are going out it's totally cool right? You can tell me."

Gail chocked on her drink, sputtering the water everywhere. "Holly, and me. Dating?"

"Yeah. It's totally obvious, you guys are like an old married couple, it's endearing really." She played with her straw, her eyes dancing with delight.

"No." Holly dragged out the word. "Not even close. We're friends."

Traci didn't seem phased though, no matter how off put the couple seemed. "If you say so."

"We do." Gail said immediately, dismissing the subject. Holly nodded in agreement.

"Okay, just know that when it does happen I'll be ready to say I told you so... and babysit when you need some alone time." She winked, earning her a few fries to the face and a couple of glares.

~

"You know you have your own bed right? That we don't have to share one anymore?" Holly quietly asked into the dark room. Gail had just slid in the bed with her, a movement she'd become familiar with in the past three months, because she couldn't let the pregnant woman sleep on a couch.

Gail snuggled her back right into Holly. "I know, I watched you and Steve carry it in."

"Then why aren't you in it?"

"It's not right."

Holly pulled the blanket over them and settled into the new position. "What's not right?"

"My bed. It doesn't have a dip in it, the sheets aren't soft enough, the blanket's weight is off, and it doesn't smell the way it should." She listed off the reasons with a line of annoyance.

Holly hummed as if in thought. "Are you saying it's wrong because it isn't  _my_  bed?"

Gail scoffed, appalled at the accusation. "You wish, Stewart."

Holly smiled to herself. Gail had been quiet affectionate in the past month. She'd been needy and hormone crazed, crying at the drop of a hat, and cuddling her while she cooked dinner. Gail was vulnerable and she only showed it to Holly, and Holly loved every minute of it -honored to be trusted with such a side of her guarded friend. So she snuggled into the blonde, waited for the contented sigh, and whispered her goodnight.

~

"How about Shiloh?" Gail asked, skipping over hellos and going right to why she called.

"Shiloh." Holly tested the name. "Shiloh." She tried again and again until Gail grew impatient.

"Holly stop saying it and just tell me what you think." She growled.

Holly paused and thought about it. Shy would be a cute nickname, especially if he did turn out to be shy. "I like it." She grinned into her phone.

"Are you sure?" Gail hesitated.

"Yes. Shiloh Peck is a great name, Gail."

"Cool. I uh, have to get back to work now. I shouldn't even be on the phone-" Gail was trying to play cool but Holly could hear the emotion in her voice.

"I said you could make the call Peck, so shut it." A man interrupted her mid sentence. "Naming your kid is hard, but you're now done, right?"

Gail laughed. "Oliver-Officer Shaw, thinks we should name the baby Oliver no matter what they are."

"Tell him it can be on the list, we still haven't chosen a girls name." Holly laughed along.

"I'd be open to Olivia." He threw out into what Holly could only assume to be a cruiser.

"Nah, if it was going to be one or the other I'd vote Oliver." Gail said, a smile in her voice. Oliver probably did a fist pump to accompany the cheered yes that sounded through the phone, making both women giggle.

"You are running out of time, just four months left." Holly added lightly.

*~*

Holly's mouth was open, about to say something, Gail couldn't tell if it was good or bad. Her heart was running a marathon and all she could think was how this was make or break, that thought alone was enough to block out the world.

"Mommy!" Shiloh called from the top of the stairs, breaking their moment and taking all attention.

Gail was the one to go and answer the call, leaving Holly to process. She quickly made her way out of the kitchen, down the small hall and to the stairs. "What is it, Nugget?" She gently picked up the boy and met his sleepy stare.

"I got up to pee and I lost Chewy." He explained and laid his head on his mom's shoulder, falling limp with sleep.

"Cant go to sleep without him now can you?" Gail rubbed his back and lead them back to his room. Shiloh hummed his agreement and popped his thumb in his mouth, a bad habit he'd had since birth. Holly and Gail had been trying to get him to stop, four was growing too old for thumb sucking, but Shy only seemed to do it for comfort. So it wasn't horrible, it wasn't like he was doing it all day for no reason, and for that reason Gail wasn't hard on him about it. Shy was still four and if sucking his thumb was something he did at bed time and occasionally in the car, for comfort, she'd let him.

"Did you lose him before, during or after?"

"After." Shiloh replied around his thumb.

Gail set him on his bed and began looking. In the blanket, around the bed frame, under the bed -and again for monsters-, but the fluffy toy was nowhere to be found. She sat on the floor, eye level to her son, and sighed. "Where would Chewy be in the middle of the night?"

"Fighting bad guys." Shiloh answered seriously.

Gail hummed her agreement. "That sounds about right. But when does he sleep?" She rested her chin on her hands that laid on top of the small mattress.

"When I wake up. He fights monsters for me at night."

"Right. Right, what was I thinking." Gail shook her head at her silly question. "Where are the monsters, maybe Chewy is there infiltrating their layer."

Shiloh thought for a moment then pointed to his treasure chest. Gail got to her feet and went to the toy box, she slowly opened it, pretending to brace herself for what way lie in the chest.

"Nothing but toys." She closed it with a frown. Shy held the same frown and it melted her heart. "But on the bright side that means there aren't any monsters."

Gail could just make out his faint smile in the dark. "True."

"Maybe he got lost in the hallway or something." Gail offered and went to check. And sure enough, there just in Gail's bedroom doorway, was Chewy. The fur that once was tall and fluffy was now matted down with years of love. She picked him up with a smile at the memory of how it came to be his favourite and brought it back to her son.

Shiloh beamed, well as much as a half asleep person could, his eyes were droopy and his grin was faint but he was as happy and it transferred over to Gail.

"Found him fighting off a couple bad guys." Gail informed the curly haired boy. She tucked Chewy in safely with Shiloh and brought the covers over the two of them, patting the blanket around them to insure they were snug. "Goodnight Shiloh." She kissed his forehead.

But her words fell on def ears as the boy was already asleep, exhausted from the day. Gail couldn't blame him, she was also exhausted, physically and emotionally. She stood there in the dimly lit room and watched her son peacefully drift off into innocent dreams of rocket ships and pirates and flying alongside his favourite superheroes. Shiloh was off on an adventure only dreams could create and she had a potential disaster waiting for her down in the kitchen, and for once it wasn't just the piles of dishes or that nights dinner. No, it was much greater, much more daunting. It was Holly, her best friend, her anchor, thinking of how to reply to Gail's proclaimed love.

With a sigh Gail slowly and quietly made her way back to Holly.

"If you don't feel the same, please don't try and let me down gently, that will only make it so much worse." Gail softly, dragging her words with dread for the inevitable, as she rounded the corner to where she left the brunette. But when she did, she found the kitchen empty. No Holly. The shot glasses were clean on the drying rack, the bottle of alcohol back in its cupboard.

"Holly?" She called into the small house. Maybe the doctor had just moved into the living room to sit or in the bathroom. Gail moved into the tv room but it was also void of the beautiful brunette. The bathroom door was wide open, light off, no Holly. Backyard was the same deal.

Holly was gone. She'd left without a word.

Gail closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry. She knew it was a possibility that Holly didn't feel the same way, that it could tear them apart, so why be so upset over it? It was why it's taken her so long to say it. She had prepared herself. A chocked cry escaped from Gail's throat and down went the dam.

 

_**A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. Please feel free to yell at me whenever** _


	11. Chapter 9

Gail slammed her alarm clock to silence it's cries. She had tossed and turned all night after crying herself to sleep. And the little sleep she did get was shit, absolute and utter shit. The bed felt too big, too cold and not cold enough. Holly wasn't there to warm her icicle toes on her legs, wasn't there to whisper goodnight, wasn't there to remind her of all she had to do in the morning, wasn't there to turn off the first alarm before it woke her. Holly wasn't there and everything was off because of it. She hoped Shiloh wouldn't really notice, Gail didn't know if she could handle it if her son started asking questions, gave her sympathy.

She flipped off the half warmed blanket and rolled out of bed, slipping on a sweater before shuffling into the bathroom to start her morning routine. She looked miserable. Her face was paler than usual, which was saying something, and her eyes were bloodshot, her hair in it's expected state of mess.

What had Gail been thinking? Telling Holly had obviously been the biggest mistake of her life. She'd probably lost her, lost Holly. She regretted it deeply. Had she not spilt the beans, had she just apologized and told Holly she was just being weird and didn't have an excuse, Holly would have woken her with a smile and a perfectly made coffee.

Gail smiled at the clumsily sleeping boy. Shiloh was taking full advantage of his bed, sprawled out like a starfish with his blanket only covering half of his body. She approached quietly, not wanting to wake his by being loud. "Shiloh." Gail hummed softly, running a finger over his warm cheek. "Baby man, it's time to get up."

Shiloh stirred, the first step in his wakening.

"It's pajama day isn't it? Don't want to miss that do you, Nugget."

He grunted and groaned. His face scrunched up in discomfort and disgust as he rolled away from his mom. Gail giggled in response and gave the blanket a tug. "Common, I thought you were excited to show off your new Cap onesie."

Another grunt followed, one of annoyance.

Gail placed a kiss to the side of his head, just on his hairline. "Well I'm going to be downstairs, watching cartoons and eating all of the Fruit Loops."

Shiloh was up before Gail got to his door. "Mom, you can't eat it all. You know they are my favourite." He whined, his voice cracking a few times in it's sleep rested way.

"Guess you're gonna have to stop me." Gail teased and ran down the stairs. This she could do, she could play with her son and everything, just for a moment, felt okay. She could pretend everything was great and normal and she still had her heart in her chest.

"Mamma!"

Gail hid around the corner of the stairwell and waited for Shy to tumble down the steps.

"Momma, it's not-" Shiloh didn't get to finish his complaint as Gail scooped him up and began a tickle attack. His laughter filled the house, splashed colour onto the walls, and warmed every room.

They settled on an agreement, Gail wouldn't eat all of the Fruit Loops if Shy promised not to eat all of the animal crackers. With that out of the way the two coolest of the Peck's grabbed their respected breakfasts and sat themselves in front of the tv.

"Where's mommy?" Shiloh asked around a mouthful of brightly coloured loops.

"I don't know, Shy, she left in the middle of the night with no note." She tried her hardest to sound casual.

"That doesn't sound like mommy."

Gail didn't reply and hoped that it would be dropped. But of course it didn't, not when it came to Holly.

"Maybe she texted you." He offered.

Maybe she had. Gail hadn't checked her phone, she'd been far too distracted with all of her feelings to think to check her phone. It was possible she'd thrown everything out of proportion all because she hadn't thought to check her phone. She set her coffee down on the side table and began the search for her phone. And sure enough when she found it haphazardly thrown on the kitchen counter from the evening before, there were multiple texts from a Lunchbox.

**_10:04pm_ ** _I got called in on a body. Not running_

**_11:57pm_ ** _Before you go to the station you have to come see me_

**_12:12am_ ** _I hope you're seeing these, it's important_

**_4:26am_ ** _Tell Shy to call me, I feel bad for not being there this morning_

Gail felt a little bad. She'd assumed the worst while Holly was just off doing her job, staying up all night to help people. She ran a hand over her face, why couldn't she have just checked her phone and gone to bed only a little worried and paranoid? With a heavy sigh she pocketed it and rejoined her son on the couch.

"Have I ever told you how clever you are?" Gail wondered aloud as she snuggled back into Shiloh's side.

"Once or twice." He smiled and Gail could hear the sleep almost dissipate from his system.

The rest of the morning went along as normal minus wrangling the four year old into clothes. Gail was able to calm herself down quite a bit about the Holly situation, she said she hadn't run, it had to mean something right? Shiloh called Holly in the car, whispering and giggling the whole way to school, and by the end he was his excited for life self again.

Gail was nervous, more nervous than she had been when she went into labor, she was about to face Holly. She'd stopped on her way to the way to the lab to get them coffee and food for Holly, she knew the brunette had probably been burning both ends of the candle and not eaten much. She bit her lip as she came close to the door that proudly read Doctor Stewart.

She knocked and waited for a reply, something she wasn't used to doing at that door. Holly greeted her with open arms and the same loving smile as always. Gail hugged tightly to the white lab coat the brunette wore, she'd always loved it, and thought it suited Holly well. It smelled just the way it should have, a mix of chemicals fresh laundry and Holly's lotion. She shyly handed her friend the coffee she brought her, the rush from the hug and the fact that she wasn't shunned -just yet- was overwhelming.

Holly took a big sip of her coffee and sighed happily, her body relaxing into it as well. She looked much the same as Gail had that morning, paler than usual, disheveled and tired, but still the most beautiful person Gail had ever seen.

"Thank you for this, I really needed it. Ralph has been lacking in that department." Holly hummed softly, taking a deep breath from the cup in her hands.

"There's a lot that dweeb is lacking, so there's no surprise there." Gail countered easily.

Holly gave her a disapproving glance, but it didn't reach her eyes or her lips as both gave way to how amused she was with Gail's distaste for all of her students. "Stop being mean to Ralph, he's a good kid."

Gail scoffed. "He set your lab coat on fire, Holly."

"Once and it was an accident."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes and dismissed the roll of conversation. She was there for a reason and if she wasn't out of there in ten she was going to miss parade, and Gail would rather mop the floor with her tongue than ride the desk. She readjusted her belt nervously, "so what'd you call me in here for that couldn't wait till later?"

"Right, um." Holly shifted from foot to foot. "Maybe you should sit." She gestured to her desk, her voice wavering.

"You know that never works, just tell me." Gail anxiously said. She was scared for what was about to happen, for what Holly could have possibly drug her down to the lab before shift. Oh god, Holly wasn't going to have the talk with her was she? The one where her feelings were this precious, delicate thing that they could tip toe around until they left, or maybe she was going to break it off. Suddenly her chest grew heavy, as if a building was sitting on it, a slab of thousand pound marble, the Hulk, all at once laying on her chest and laughing at her to just breathe.

No it couldn't be that. Holly wouldn't do that like this, not here, not just before sending her off to shift. No. Holly worried about her, made her call with any little injury, call at the end of shift just so she knew Gail was okay. Holly wouldn't send her out after stomping on her heart.

So what was it that was so important that it couldn't wait until after work?

She clenched her fists and willed herself to calm down, steady her voice. "What is it, Hol?"

Holly leaned on her desk, half sitting on the edge, and nervous. "I don't really know how to tell you or how to put it, I honestly can hardly believe it myself and I've had all night to process."

"Oh my god, nerd, just say it." Gail lashed out slightly, taking a step closer to the brunette.

"So the call I got last night, male African American, late teens early twenties, single gunshot to the lower abdomen. Guns and Gangs were of course the first called, black teen shot in the middle of the night, can't be anything else right?" Gail could see the anger in the assumption Holly relayed. She didn't like it either but it was the system, and a lot of the time it was right. "His name is Mark Dixon, identified through prints. Not because he had a record or because he wasn't a good kid, but because he'd taken a couple of his foster siblings to family day and they all got their prints done for fun."

"That hits pretty close to home." Gail commented when it seemed the pathologist needed a second. A hard case, that's why Holly needed her, a case that tug a little extra on her heartstrings.

"It gets closer... His mom was called in to identify him, but she had the kids and couldn't leave them alone, so she got her oldest son to come in. Mark's older brother, Chase Dixon, came in to identify his remains and will be back at the station in a couple of hours to answer some questions."

"Okay. Did you want to be there?" Gail asked slowly, perplexed as to where Holly was really going with it all.

Holly bit her lip. "Chase Dixon is  _Chase_  from six years ago, Shiloh's dad, Chase."

The room stopped. Everything stopped. The bag of pastries hit the floor. "What?"

"Shiloh's dad is Chase Dixon, and he's going to be at 15 Division for questioning in two hours." Holly said again.

"Are you positive?"

"Thousand present."

"How can you be so sure?" Gail walked over to the desk her friend was sitting on and placed her coffee down before she dropped that too.

"I've been looking at his face for almost five years now, Gail, it's him."

"Wow." She let out a long breath. She sat next to the brunette, far enough to be respectful but close enough for comfort. Running a hand through her hair she closed her eyes for a minute.

"Gail." Holly's hand was on hers, calling her back out from the darkness of her mind, pulling her from scary overwhelming thoughts and feelings.

"You don't have to see or talk to him, you know that right?" Holly drew circles into her skin, not letting her float away, anchoring her.

"I know. But I kind of have to don't I? Wouldn't you want to know? And what about Shiloh, he's been getting more curious in the last year. Heritage is important to kids, people, and Shy deserves to have everything he would like to know." Gail opened her eyes and met Holly's. "I have to talk to Chase, even if he wants nothing to do with Shiloh, it's best everyone knows."

"Okay. I'm done until one, so if you'd like, I could go with you. Or just wait at your desk or something. If-if you want..."

Gail sent her a weird look, one that asked why she would hesitate, why she would think Gail didn't want her there.

She shrugged. "I don't know, last night-"

"One would normally take what was said last night as a way to be reassured they were always wanted around." Gail smiled weakly and Holly blushed.

"Okay." She slid off the desk and took a step away. "C-can we talk about last night later? I would really like to."

"Yeah, of course." Gail stayed neutral. Not wanting to get her hopes up just because they were able to stay un-awkward and be friends, but also wanting to keep it that way at least. She could take anything Holly threw at her.

"Not in a bad way. Just so you know, I don't want you to worry or anything all day, I'm sure you had enough of that before you got my text." Holly babbled nervously.

Before Gail could react, before she could answer, Holly's phone buzzed. The bright, sticker covered case of Holly's phone was sticking out from a pile of papers on her desk, so Gail slid it out and read who it was.  _Det.T. Awesome._

"It's Traci."

"He's early."

~

"Chase." Gail blurted out before he could walk away. She was nervous, and anxious. She never in a million years had thought she'd ever see the man again, never thought she'd know his last name, never even have the choice to tell him he had a son. And the fact that she could, she was about to, was indescribable.

The tall man stopped in his pursuit for the exit and turned to Gail. Not a drop of recognition flashed across his face, only confusion and concern. "Yes Officer," he leaned in to read her tag, "Peck."

"Can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Is it about my brother? Because I just finished talking to Det. Nash." He spoke kindly, clearly.

"No, it's not about your brother, but it's important." She stayed strong, set everything in her face to stone except her eyes. Gail really needed him to go along with it, no matter how odd it seemed, she didn't know if she'd be able to seek him out some other time.

Thankfully Chase went along with it and followed her to one of the empty questioning rooms, one of the nice ones with couches and plants, hoping it'd ease some of the news. Holly was lingering in the background, watching their every move, and she gave Gail an encouraging smile and thumbs up before she'd shut the door. Gail advised Chase to sit as she began pacing the small space.

"There's no soft way to put this but before I say anything I want you to know that I'm telling you because it's the right thing to do and not at all to get anything from you." Gail had practiced a few lines with Holly on their way over, and made a short points list to make sure she got everything she wanted to. Chase was puzzled and went to talk when Gail stopped him with a shake of her head. "We slept together one night six years ago and I got pregnant. And before you go on asking how I know, it's because my son looks strikingly like you and I knew his father's name was Chase, so you fit the bill. Again, I just thought you should know, and I don't want or need anything from you."

She had rambled, just like Holly when she was anxious, but she couldn't care. She'd done it, she had found Shiloh's father and told him about her son.

Chase's mouth was gaped, his light brown eyes galaxy's away. He attempted to talk a few times, each just met with silence, so Gail waited patiently. She knew what it was like to be told that a one night stand had turned into being a parent. So she sat in one of the chairs and turned her thoughts onto Shy.

Gail wondered how he'd take it. Would he be excited, timid, curious but worried? Would he want a relationship with Chase and how would that work, how would she take that, not being the only parent. Then her thoughts went to Holly. Holly was his second parent and that wasn't weird, it didn't make her jealous or feel second. But she loved Holly, and had been there the whole time. It'd be different because she had no relationship with Chase, and he would probably already get Shiloh's bright eyes simple because of genes. She thought of how weird it would be to suddenly have to share Shiloh with anyone but Holly.

"I have a son?" Chase wondered aloud, his voice uneven and emotional.

"His name is Shiloh, and he'll be five in January." Gail confirmed, and smiled at the mention of the boy, she couldn't help it.

Chase leaned back in his seat and ran a hand over his short curls, stopping to scratch at the back of his head. "Today has been wild."

"I'm sorry to just bombard you with this, I couldn't pass up the opportunity." Gail apologized sincerely, she could only imagine the day he was having. Losing a brother, identifying his body, and then being told you have a four year old son was a roller coaster no one would want to ride.

"No, I get that, and I'm glad you told me. It's just... wow." He met Gail's eyes and stayed like that for a minute, taking in everything with the encouragement emanating from the blue eyes across from him. Chase leaned forward again, with motive, a bit of nerves and excitement. "Can I see a picture?"

"Of course." Gail fished out her phone from one of the many pockets of her cargo pants, and opened it to her gallery. Ninety present were of her son, ones she'd taken and many many selfies done himself, the rest were food and Holly and screenshots of funny things to show Holly. She flipped through to the last photo shoot they'd done. It was the first snow fall, one in the morning, and Gail had woken Shiloh and Holly because of it. They all bundled up and went to play in the few inches of white, frozen, gold. It was a tradition Gail and Holly had started in college, every first snow, no matter how early or late it was they'd go out and play, last month had been Shiloh's second year of many.

She smiled fondly and went to sit beside the man that gave her the best gift of her life. Gail handed Chase her phone and watched as his eyes grew. His eyes danced over the image of Shiloh, puffed up in his snowsuit, boots, mitts, and hat , his nose and cheeks red with the bite of cold, the brightest of his smiles all over his face. Gail could see her sleepy boy in the photo, the puff to his eyes, and un-kept hair poking from his hat, she could point out all little details of a laugh waiting to happen, of a teasing remark, a poked out tongue to their favourite doctor. Chase wouldn't be able to see those things, all he could see was the obvious delight, a cold little boy playing in the snow, dark snowy sky's and lit up street lamps. But it was him too. Shiloh had his dark skin -only made lighter by Gail's pale complexion-, his nose, his faded freckles, his strong jaw, his gentle warm voice, his build. He would be a spitting image if the tiny pieces of Gail weren't there, her lips, her eyes, her cheek bones, her ears.

"You weren't kidding." Chase exhaled, a smile tugging at his lips.

Gail flipped to the next one. A rosie cheeked, bundled up Holly held Shy, both pointing to their snow angels proudly. Next one. Shiloh giving Holly a kiss, horribly lit by a street lamp as Gail forgot to put her flash on. Next one. The framing was much shorter, Gail and Holly hidden behind a family of three snow people. She quickly passed over that one. Next was a bright eared, pajama clad Shy, half hidden behind a mug of hot chocolate and Holly's elbow was in frame too but Chase didn't need to be known to that.

"Can I ask who that woman is? She seems to be around, and Shiloh looks to really love her."

Gail clicked her phone off and busied herself by putting it away. "That's Holly, my best friend. She has helped a lot with him, been there everyday, every step of the way."

He nodded along.

"She's very dear to Shy and I, we wouldn't be where we are without her."

"Holly sounds like an amazing woman."

"That she is." Gail agreed. "Look I'm sorry to drop a bomb on you and run but the streets don't protect themselves."

"Right, of course." He stood abruptly. Gail stood too, taking charge by going to the door first, but before she opened it she turned back to the tall man. "I have to head right out, so if you would like, you can go to Staff Sarge Shaw and he'll give you my number and we can meet up to talk further. If not I understand, really no hard feelings.''

"Peck-"

"Gail."

Chase smiled, one similar to Shiloh's when he got Andy's dog to do a trick on the first try. "Gail, thank you for telling me."

"You're welcome. And I'm sorry for yours, and your families loss."

With those parting words she opened the door and didn't look back as she headed for the garage, her rookie would be there waiting for her, they were late for patrol but Oliver shrugged it off when Holly explained everything. Gail strut passed the sea of desk riding cops and just made it to the hall when a familiar hand grabbed her shoulder. Holly. She hadn't known how tense, how uneasy she was until Holly placed a hand on her and everything started to melt. She leaned into the touch but continued her pace, her rook was not the brightest bulb on the tree and was bound to even screw up waiting at the car.

"How'd it go? Are you okay?" Holly was close to her ear, she knew how Gail hated to be fussed over at work in front of colleagues.

"I think I'm okay, but I'm not sure. It went over really well, he seemed interested in Shy. I showed him some pictures. I think he's going to call, at least to get some more information, I don't know. But I have a feeling he's not just going to drop this and forget about it." Gail went over the thoughts in her head and replayed them to the brunette. "How're you?"

Gail had also been worried about Holly, how she's take it, how it's make her feel. Holly shrugged.

"I have no idea. It's weird and I can't wrap my head around it."

They had reached the garage door and stopped. Gail turned to meet Holly full on, she wanted to hug her, to kiss her and reassure her that nothing would be stronger than the bond the three of them had. They were a family. But she obviously couldn't do that, it would be out of line, inappropriate, they needed to talk first. So she settled for grabbing Holly's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"It's okay, everything is going to be fine. Come to the house for dinner after work?" Gail asked incredibly hopeful, ending it with a bit to her lip.

Holly tilted her head, trying to hid behind her wild mane of hair, and licked her lips. "I would love to but I have had plans with Rachel for two weeks now." Gail started to retreat, to move away and turn to hid the disappointment in her eyes. "But," Holly tugged on their joined hands, a happy lilt to her voice as she coaxed her blonde back to her, "I will be by bright and early for breakfast and drive you to work."

Gail couldn't help but smile and agree.

"Be safe out there, and come home in one piece." Holly booped her nose with a giggle.

"Always." Gail promised, a rush of warmth spread through her and settled in her chest at Holly's words. They were the same ones she'd say every time Gail went out for shift, and Gail's answer the same but there was something new in the way Holly said home. The was more meaning to home itself. Home was Shiloh and Holly.

 

_**A/N: I hope you liked it! Thanks for read, and feel free to yell at me anytime** _


	12. Christmas

Gail woke a voice, soft and cooing, in the next room. A dim light peaked onto her floor boards, guiding her to the source. She slowly got out of bed, yawning big and wide with a stretch of her limbs, her bedside clock reading 4:26.

"He sprang to his sleigh, to his team have a whistle." She heard in a hushed, soft, telling of tails. The story, Gail knew as one of her roommates favourites, had been coming from said roommates bedroom, she tell tell the closer she got to her own door. "And away they all flew like the down of a thistle."

Gail smiled sleepily. It wasn't a common experience, her son having woke in the middle of the night without her knowledge, but it'd happened often enough she wasn't scared when he wasn't in his crib at the far wall of her room. Because Holly had him, and was apparently reading a Christmas story.

"But I heard him exclaim," Gail was out in the hall, hair a mess, clothes in disarray, probably some dried drool on the side of her mouth, and on a hunt to witness the early morning story. She wouldn't admit it but she loved listening to the brunette talk. Her voice just brought a calm over Gail, it was strong, smooth and collected, like a warm hug from your favourite person. "As he drove out of sight."

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!" Holly's voice dropped low in an imitation of Santa Clause, almost making Gail laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

Gail peaked in through the half open door and smiled gently. Holly had Shiloh laying in her lap, head lulled on her risen legs, feet at her ribs, half wrapped in the Christmas blanket Holly's mother had made for him with a binky his mouth. Holly placed the book beside her on the bed and drew a knuckle across his cheek. She looked content, absolutely exhausted and shouldn't at all be up at four thirty in the morning, but she seemed happy to be in that moment. Happy to watch the one year old stare back at her, happy to have tiny toes jammed into her cage, happy to have read a Christmas classic before the sun itself had risen.

Gail had been worried, scared, about waking the brunette in the middle of the night with a crying baby. It was weird to think about after a year of it, a year of Holly pushing her back into bed and taking care of the infant.

One year.

One year of crying, of diapers, of next to no sleep. One year of firsts she had never thought she'd be excited about. One year smiles and goofy faces, of making a fool out of herself to save everyone from tears. One year of learning. And one, glorious, year of unimaginable love.

"You'll have to be more boring than that, nerd." Gail mused from the doorway.

Holly jumped with a startle, whipping her head to the side to find the blonde laughing at her. She fixed her with Holly's version of a scowl. "You can't just sneak up on me like that."

"But I can." Gail smirked and opened the door the rest of the way, walked in and went straight for the empty side of the bed.

"It's not nice." Holly moved the book to her nightstand to make room for the blonde.

"I'm not nice." She said simply. She settled in next to the brunette, fitting in perfectly beside her in a very familiar way, a comforting way.

"That's what she likes to think, but we both know that's not true." Holly cooed to Shiloh, placing her hand on his tummy and rocking him. She could feel the pointed stare from her roommate but it only spurred her on. "Mama's a big sap isn't she? Playing hide and seek, bubble beards, and one look from the big blue eyes of yours and she's a goner."

"Stop feeding him lies." Gail pushed her shoulder.

Holly giggled. "I only speak the truth."

"Oh yeah? What about Santa?" Gail challenged her, arms crossed and ready for the explanation.

Holly shot her a horrific look. "Gail!" She reprimanded and looked back to Shy, seeing if he realized what had just been said. Shiloh stared back, wide awake and not at all the sleepy baby she'd hope to have, they had been up for at least an hour, trying and obviously failing to get back to bed.

"He doesn't understand, Hol, he's one." Gail rolled her eyes.

Holly glanced between the two Pecks, skeptical. "What if he does? What if he never gets the chance to enjoy the magic of Santa because you told him before his first Christmas had even started."

Gail let out a breath and met her eyes, holding them to show how serious she was, how sincere she was. The was a flutter, a tiny little flutter that lasted less than a second, it was weird and she didn't knew what it was so she decided to ignore it. "You watch, in three years Shy will be driving you nuts with how excited he is for Santa. And you'll be the one to wait two hours in line to meet the creepy dude."

Holly hesitated but smiled dopily. They were both still exhausted but there were more pressing matters at hand. It was cute though, sleepy Holly. "Okay."

"Now," Gail got up on her knees and leaned over to kiss her son, both cheeks, and his tiny nose. "By the look in Shy's eye we aren't getting sleep in the next hour at least. So why don't we just give in and get some breakfast, play a bit or whatever, and then meet back here for lulling and sleep."

Holly's adoring, half smile spread across her lips, so she hid by lifting Shiloh and passing him off to his mother. She crawled out of bed, almost falling over in the act, she hadn't noticed how jello like her legs felt until they needed to support her. Gail laughed, making her laugh, which then started Shiloh in joining in, and brought it full circle again.

Gail snuggled her son into her one arm, blanket undoing and daring to fall, and wiggled off the bed. She popped the binky back in Shy's mouth and shuffled into the kitchen to make a bottle for the boy.

Holly was already in kitchen pulling out a pre-made bottle, passing it to the blonde as she came in, then went to the bread drawer and pulled out a half loaf of bread. As she took charge in making them toast, Gail warmed up the bottle.

"What woke you?" Holly asked, dusting off her hands and leaning against the counter.

Gail shrugged. "No idea."

"I thought that when you didn't wake up from his mews, or when I bumped into your stupid hamper, that you'd be out for the night. You've been working a lot lately." The toast popped as she finished so she turned around to spread on the peanut butter.

"I need the hours, and the over time to pay for presents and stuff." Gail tested the temperature and put it back to continue heating.

Holly opened a cupboard and took out the brown sugar, Gail smiled to herself. Peanut butter toast with a sprinkling of brown sugar was her favourite treat as a child, her granddad used to make it for her, usually late at night when she couldn't sleep. After the first time she made it for Holly, a few years back on a high stressed night of studying for exams, the brunette had been obsessed.

"I know, and I get it, but do you really need to work Christmas Day? It's Shy's first Christmas and it feels wrong to celebrate with with him without you."

Gail tested the bottle again, and when satisfied with its temperature she swapped the binky with the bottle in a swift, practiced motion. She settled into the new position and met her sons eyes. They were the darkest blue she'd ever seen, like a permanent storm, but they shone brightly, always filled with a gleeful twinkle. Shy's eyelids had started to droop a bit, weighing down with sleep. It wouldn't be long before he passed out again.

"I won't be gone the whole day, just Christmas Eve night and Christmas afternoon. Thankfully everyone with kids got mornings and evenings off, I got the nice end of the stick." Gail eased her best friend. She agreed, had Holly needed to work the morning or through dinner she would have been disappointed. It wouldn't have felt right without her there to also watch Shiloh open his gifts and smear himself in mashed potatoes. Gail kissed Shiloh's forehead and held him a little closer.

"I know but still." Holly turned around with two pieces of toast, one with a bite already taken. She held out the other piece to Gail's mouth and water for her to take a bite. "You don't get time to play with the toys or anything."

Gail smiled, mouth full with the taste of her favourite memories. "I have all of Boxing Day to play, nerd."

Holly couldn't help but smile back. Gail was utterly adorable dead tired, feeding Shy, and grinning around a mouthful of toast. Her heart swelled with adoration for her best friend. Gail's eyes twinkled with playful delight and it only managed to make her smile wider, she loved those moments the blonde was totally at ease with her walls down. Just simply happy. She sighed.

"Okay." She said quietly.

"Besides, this way I don't get stuck with cleanup." Gail licked the peanut butter off her lips and added a wink for good measure. Holly chuckled and shook her head, feeding the blonde another bite and taking another one herself.

They continued like that until it was all gone, both enjoying the rare quiet of their apartment.

Then Shiloh hiccuped, turned from the bottle, signalling that he was done. Gail placed the almost empty bottle on the counter for later cleanup and when she turned back Holly was much closer then before.

"You have work in two hours, get back to bed." Holly told and wiggled her fingers in a way to tell the blonde to pass her the baby.

Gail shook her head for reasons unknown, because for some reason she was turning down sleep in favour of letting Holly. "You've been up for awhile so you should get the extra sleep, it'd only be like an hour more for me."

Holly fixed her with a pointed look and a head tilt. She held her hand out and waited for the blonde to give in, knowing full well how powerful the head tilt was. Gail held on for a minute, squinting at the brunette in an almost glaring way. Eventually she gave in and said her good nights to the tiring boy, sealing it with a few kisses, and a few more once he settled back in Holly's arms.

With a hand on Shy's back Gail did a rare thing, something Holly could count on one hand how many times she'd done it, something no one else but her granddad had before, she kissed Holly's cheek and skidded off to her room with a night called over her shoulder.

Holly stood there for a moment, stunned by the display of affection, she didn't know why it effected her so greatly but it did. She could feel her cheeks burning and was glad to be alone in the dim light of morning.

"Your mom's something else, Shy." She whispered to the baby laying on her shoulder and began the magical bounce to start soothing him to sleep. She slowly made her way back to her room, turning out lights as she went, and decided to walk around instead of sitting in bed. Movement was always the better option. And singing. Singing was key to putting Shiloh to bed. Gail was much better at it, Holly was more of a shower singer, so she usually tried to let the blonde take care of the songs.

Holly began with her favourite, a Christmas classic, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. It started out shakily, unsure of volume, and finding her voice. Then eased after the first verse, comfortable in its melody and getting swooped up in the spirit of the song.

In the room across the hall Gail grinned, half asleep, into her pillow. She listened with perked ears, she hung onto ever word, every note, oh how she loved to listen to Holly's voice. She stayed hidden away, cuddled up in warm blankets and let the brunette lull her into a peaceful sleep.   

 

_**A/N: Happy Holidays!! Hope you liked it** _


	13. Chapter 13

Gail tapped the sides of her cup with the tips of her fingers, a nervous rhythm with no structure, her foot joining in the anxious song. She checked her phone again. Nothing. She needed a distraction, something to take the edge off, something to keep her busy as she waited, so she texted Holly.

_When was I supposed to meet him?_

Thankfully there wasn't a long wait.

_Five minutes. You nervous?_

_Nope. Why would I be?_

She bit her nail and stared out the window into the street while she waited for Holly's reply.

_No clue, you're just meeting your son's father is all. Nothing to worry about_

_You're a great help_

_I try_

_Well you suck_

_You just said I did great_

_I changed my mind_

_Gail_

_Yeah_

_It's going to be fine_

_I know_

_We still on for the movies tonight?_

_Of course. Shy is very excited for the movie and to see you, I swear that kid can't live a day without you_

_It's only because I'm hilarious_

_We want you to think that. It's really because without you we would have died with scurvy years ago_

_Does this confession mean no more complaining about eating your greens?_

_Not a chance. If anything there'll be more_

"Gail?" A timid voice grabbed her attention. Looking up she was met with a familiar face, tall and awkwardly shifting from foot to foot.

"Hey, Chase." She greeted and cleared her throat, pushing down her nerves.

_He's here. Talk to you when I'm done_

She clicked her phone off and put it in her pocket. "How've you been?"

"Busy. I've been staying at my moms helping with the kids, she's not doing the best." Chase looked grim, tired, worse off than the last time she saw him.

Gail nodded along sympathetically. "I can only imagine."

"It's been rough, but I think we're doing alright." He took off his coat, hung it on the back of his seat, and sat across from the officer. Once settled he tried a smile. "How's Shiloh?"

"Good. He beat his class running record in gym the other day, couldn't have gotten that from me, I'm allergic to athleticism of any kind." Gail took a drink of her coffee.

Chase chuckled. "Does he play any sports?"

"He dabbles in many, but it's mostly play, nothing serious. Shy prefers puzzles, art, and video games." He nodded along, hanging on her every word, so she continued. If it was the other way around she'd want to know everything. "He's hilarious, a quick wit and a silver tongue. And he's sweet, always picking flowers, kissing cuts and drawing pictures for everyone. He's crazy smart too. Already starting to read, doing mental math, constantly watching those boring educational shows, and some puzzles I wouldn't be able to do in double the time. All from Holly. But Shy's also got a strong head, stubborn thing, and when he's got his mind set there's no changing it."

Chase had a prideful smile across his face, a love already growing in his eyes. He sighed contently. "He sounds amazing."

"Shy's the best." Gail agreed with a wide grin. She liked talking about her son, showing him off, it wasn't often she got to. The closest thing she got to boasting about him was when he did something she could bring up in conversation with Traci or one of the other members of the gang.

"Sounds like you've done a great job."

"I can't take all the credit, Holly did a lot of the work." Gail waved off the compliment. It was true, without Holly she didn't know what she would have done.

"I hope I'll get the chance to thank this Holly, she seems like a very big part of your guys lives."

"She'll probably tag along to our next meeting, she's anxious to meet you." Gail mused. Holly had almost tagged along to that one but Gail told her she couldn't, telling her that it was probably best for her to go alone the first time, suss him out. She chuckled, "you're going to have to watch out for her. Holly is quite protective of Shiloh, so you're gonna have to get on her good side before we bring Shy into the mix."

Chase laughed along, finally easing into the conversation. "Any tips for when I do meet her?"

~

Gail leaned back in her seat and watched as the man who was more of a father than her actual father, pushed her son on the rope swing in her backyard. Oliver had the idea for it the past summer and promptly got Chris and Dov to make it for Shiloh, no way in hell he was going to climb a tree high enough for a swing. Shiloh had loved it, impatiently jumped around for hours waiting for it to be tied up, and then pushed for an afternoon. Still with snow piled just high enough he could swing, he was on it.

Gail couldn't help but smile as Oliver chased Shy, catching him mid air and tickling him senseless. Her laugh echoed in a cloud, a testament to how cold it was.

"Tea or hot coco?"

She glanced over her shoulder to see Celery poking her head out of the patio door. "Coco."

With a nod and one last glance out into the yard, Celery scurried back into the house.

They'd just finished dinner, made mostly by Holly, and the three most rambunctious of the group were sent outside so the other two could clean up in peace. Gail guessed they'd finished quickly and were making beverages before joining the party.

The dinner had gone well, conversation and laughter as easy as always. Gail and Holly's little talk about whatever was between them hadn't effected anything in the mix, if anything it made it easier. There wasn't a secret, a careful eye on actions to loom over their heads. They just _were_. And it was wonderful, exhilarating, comfortable, familiar and new, it was the way things should have been from the start.

It fit.

 _They_ fit.

The door slid open again and out came Holly, a mug in each hand, a smile begging to take its place on her lips. "It's colder out than I thought." She shivered and handed Gail her 'dad' mug -a gift Oliver had given her years ago.

"You're just a wimp." Gail corrected, wrapping both hands around the cup, soaking up its heat. Holly replied by sticking her tongue out at her, before settling into the chair beside the blonde.

"I think they know." Holly said above a whisper but quiet enough no one but Gail would be able to hear.

"Know what?" Gail stayed just as quiet. She blew on the hot, creamy, drink and watched Oliver wind up Shy for a spin.

"That there's something going on," there was a lull as Holly fumbled for words. They'd talked, opened the cages that held all deeper feelings, but it didn't get any farther than that. Gail had just gone in for a kiss, a first glorious, sweet, confession filled kiss when Shiloh had slammed a door in the kitchen, startling both women and killing the rest of the night. Since then they hadn't had another chance. "Between us. Celery subtly-not-so-subtly asked."

"How would they know? Nothing's changed." Gail laid her head on the back of the chair and faced her best friend. A happiness seeped into her skin, turning every inch into an electric field, Holly was beautiful. To most she'd seem ordinary, brown hair, brown eyes, glasses, the works. Just your average, simply pretty, girl. But to Gail she was everything, breathtaking, an unattainable beauty. Holly met her eyes and a warm crooked grin, doped with pure happiness, spread well into her features.

"I don't think we're as subtle as we'd like to think. I mean, Shy figured it out way before we did. And Traci's called it from the dawn of time." She chuckled softly.

"I guess." She was slowly drowning in the dark irises of Holly's eyes. Gail loved to just stare, now that she was allowed to, she loved picking up on all the new looks, movements, traits, that'd she'd never seen in the brunette before. She liked to watch the desire switch on in Holly's eyes once she noticed Gail's stare, liked to watch the new found feelings grow in each touch, in each nervous brush of skin. The urge to kiss her began the familiar creep up from her stomach. All she'd have to do was lean in a bit, grab Holly by the back of the neck and pull her in.

"Gail." Holly smiled the name. Gail hummed distractedly. "You're doing it again."

She made no move to hide her train of thought, to derail and save that moment for later, Gail was done waiting. She was done hiding, they had had enough of that in the past months. There was time to make up for and Gail was going to start righting it if Holly would let her.

She licked her lips and stared at Holly's, the lips she'd since memorized all but the feel of. Gail was ready to memorize. Needed, to memorize. And no amount of laughing just feet away, no amount of outside eyes watching in, was going to put a stop to it. She flicked up to meet the darkening eyes of her best friend and asked the questioned she'd been wanting, waiting, to ask for quite some time. Holly bit her bottom as she stared hungrily at Gail's lips, breaking for just a second to glance into darkening blues.

Gail took that as a yes and put her mug on the table on her other side without breaking eye contact, she wouldn't have another moment screwed up over something so simple, not now. She brought her hand up to cup Holly's cheek and lightly brushed her thumb over the smooth skin, cold and reddening, smiling at the feel, the sight of her hand on Holly's cheek. She felt Holly take a shuddering breath before she saw it in a cloud the dissipated around her own skin. The urge grew, intensified, Gail couldn't hold it in any longer. She needed to kiss Holly. So she moved her hand to the back of her neck, her fingers tangling into dark tresses, she pulled her in and hoped it was okay.

She watched as Holly closed her eyes just as their noses brushed against one another. It was cold and would have made her giggle if the feeling of it wasn't so newly intimate, if the rush of anticipation didn't smother everything else. Gail closed her eyes and took a second to breathe in the moment. She was holding Holly, her fingers lost in a sea of soft curls, so close that she could already taste the mint of Holly's tea, and none of it was a dream. Holly nuzzled her nose against hers, comforting, content, and asking for her to continue.

Gail took the last breath of distance and pressed her lips to Holly's, gently at fist, testing the waters. Her heart stopped, breath caught in her chest, she'd never felt such a swarm of butterflies in her stomach before. Her world closed in around her as Holly leaned in closer, catching Gail's top lip in between the both of hers in the sweetest embrace she could imagine. A soft moan bubbled up from deep in her throat, earning her a twitch of a smile from the brunette. When her heart kicked in again it was three times as fast, pounding in her ears. Gail felt alive. More alive than she'd ever felt before, every cell buzzed with electricity, her skin on fire, all organs floating in bliss.

She had never known what everyone had talked about, love, the fireworks, the tingling all over, not being able to help but smile like an idiot. She hadn't known until that moment, the moment she kissed her best friend. 

Giggling.

Giggling was what broke the kiss. It started with a gasp, Gail thought nothing of it when it brushed over her lips, only happy to finally know what it felt like. What did grab her attention was the immediate pull back from Holly, followed by wide smiles and giggles as she placed her own mug onto the table.

"My leg is burning and all I can think about is doing that again." Holly laughed and stared in her lap at what appeared to be a growing stain of burning hot tea. Her breath was heavy, as heavy as Gail's, both clouding the air between them.

Gail laughed, ignoring the blush she could feel crawling up her neck, and stood. "I'll get you a towel and a baggy to put some snow in." She kissed the top of Holly's head and went inside feeling on top of the world.

~

"Mama." Shy asked in that innocent way he did before asking any important question. Quiet, tentative, wondering. Gail smiled lightly as she wrapped her son in his ducky towel, the hood almost over his sleepy eyes, she loved his inquiring voice.

"Yeah, baby?" She picked up her bundled of joy and rubbed his back as he laid his head on her shoulder. He was still damp, soaking through the yellow cotton and seeping into her skin. Gail had learned a long time ago not to wear many cloths when bathing Shiloh, he tended to get water _everywhere_ , no matter how controlled and tame it seemed.

"You and mommy kissed." Shiloh pointed out in that sweet voice of his. He pushed the hood out of his face and looked up into her eyes curiously.

Gail stopped in her tracks to his bedroom. She didn't know anyone had saw, no had said anything or reacted in any way. Although when she thought about it Oliver had given her a longer hug than usual and an odd smile, she just put it down to him being weird or something.

"Yes." She replied, cautious, and picked up her walk across the hall.

Shiloh beamed up at her. "And?"

"And what?" Gail shot him a bemused look, accompanied by a chuckle.

"And when are you getting married? I really want mommy to move in, because I don't know about you but I'm tired of going from our place to hers. Plus I want a brother or sister and sooner is better."

Gail burst into laughter, nearly dropping the four year old in the act. Shy joined in, hesitant in why exactly it was so funny, but his mom thought it was so it must be. When she calmed down, smile set high in her cheeks, she readjusted Shy on her hip, "real life is not like a fairy tale, Shy. One kiss doesn't mean we are going to get married tomorrow and live happily ever after. This isn't Repunzel."

"I know it's not." He scoffed. "They kissed two times, Mama. Two."

"Right, what was I thinking." Gail sarcastically berated herself.

"I have no idea." He dragged out the no, exaggerating it immensely. Gail rolled her eyes as she entered his room, an almost prideful smile on her lips. She went to his dresser and opened the pajama drawer, rifling through until she pulled out two pairs. "Which ones are you thinking tonight, dino, or Bucky?"

Shiloh's nose scrunched up as he thought. That look always turned Holly into a puddle, by far her favourite of his expressions. "Bucky!"

"Great choice." Gail nodded and put the other away. She tossed Shy on the bed with a bounce and a round of laughter. Then dried him off, wrestled him into his pjs and tucked him in.

"Alright, I'll send mommy up for your story, you stay all nice and snug."

Shy nodded and snuggled in further into the blanket, bringing it up to his nose. Gail made it to the door when Shiloh called out once again in that soft question. "Yes, shy?" She leaned in the doorway.

"You and mommy are together now, right?"

"I thought you said we always have been." Gail smirked.

"You have."

Gail raised a questioning brow and Shy giggled.

"But now you guys know, right?"

She bit her lip, trying to contain herself, she couldn't believe the conversation she was having with her son. She changed to biting the inside of her cheek, "yes." She answered amusingly.

"I'm happy." He yawned, closing his eyes.

Gail let the smile take over her face. "You sure you won't get sick of us?"

"I will but that's okay."

"At least you're honest." She chuckled.

Shy grinned. "Every good cop is."

"Goodnight good cop." She cooed.

"G'night mama."

Just as she turned to go and fetch the doctor to read a story she stopped, looked in as Shy pulled Chewie in closer, and sighed happily. "Just so you know too, I'm very happy." And with that Gail slinked out into the hall to fined her Holly.

 

**_A/N: So I'm thinking of ending this here, the whole thing was about getting these idiots together right? But don't fear. I want to make it into a series. How does that sound? I'm thinking either after this, like through the whole Chase thing, or before when Shy was just a baby or somthing. Please share your opinion, I'd love to hear from you_ **


	14. Yours

Dreams of endless supplies of doughnuts and bacon were interrupted but cries, cries and chocked sobs from what could only be a blue-faced baby. Gail fought it, sometimes if she played dead long enough her roommate would roll out of bed and take care of the wailing. It was not one of those times.

“I know you’re awake.” Holly grumbled into her pillow.

Gail groaned and rolled over. “Mm…your kid before five in the morning.” Though muffled she heard an exhale similar to amusement, which in turn made her smile despite the hour.

“My name isn’t on the birth certificate.” Holly pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter if your name is on the baby receipt or not.” She countered. The cries turned from level one to three in no time flat, one of them needed to get up and soon. “All that matters is that it stops, and I’m not going to be the one to do it.”

“But it’s your turn.” Holly whined and pushed the blonde closer to the edge of the bed. The bed they were sharing while staying at her parents, because their apartment building was being renovated and there was no possible way to get any sleep during the day, and there was no way in any hell that they would stay at the Peck manor.

“Before sunrise he’s your son.” Gail exclaimed, her voice hoarse from sleep. She lifted up weakly and landed back down on the brunette’s arm to stop her from pushing her over the edge.

“Lion King, really?”

“Just get the boy and shut him up.” She waved her off.

With a huff and some grumbling Holly rolled out of the bed, taking half the blanket with her and leaving the other half on the cool floor, she shuffled over to the playpen they were using as a crib. She shushed the boy and told him it was okay as she gently scooped him into her arms. Shiloh continued to scream, his face indeed turning blue from all the fussing. Holly bounced him and went back to the bed the blonde was curled up on.

“I think Shy’s back to being your son, my boobs are of no use to him.” She informed the other woman and placed the crying baby right next to Gail’s pillow.

“Why couldn’t you have been the one to have the kid.” Gail grumbled, pouted, as she wiggled up into a sitting position.

“Because I don’t do the boys.” Holly tried to soothe Shiloh by brushing his hair with the pads of her fingers.

Gail responded to that by sticking out her tongue at the brunette, her eyes closed in exhaustion.


	15. Just Read

Holly fondly watched as Shiloh squatted down, his diaper clad butt almost touching the hardwood floor, and perused his little bookshelf for the next one he wanted her to read. She had a stack of books on the coffee table already, twenty the last time she counted. The boy had been enthralled in trying to read, in listening to book after book and trying to keep up and recognize words, he'd been engrossed in story upon story for going on two weeks now. At first Holly loved it. She loved reading and loved that Shy had gotten so into it, it was a huge part of her childhood and could relate greatly. But day after day of the begging to be read to, of the crying when she had to stop, of giant stacks that she then had to wiggle back into place, it was wearing her out.

"This one!" Shiloh exclaimed, the words mispronounced as usual. He held up the colourful soft covered book for Holly to see. Pirates. The third pirate themed one that afternoon.

"Looks good, Shy." Holly smiled and patted the spot next to her. And as the boy toddled over she said, "this one has to be the last one though. I've got to start dinner, but mommy should be home soon. Okay?"

Shiloh placed the thin book on the brunette's lap and climbed onto the couch. He wiggled into Holly's side, just as he had every other time he rejoined the brunette on the couch, and once comfortable he opened to the first page. Holly poked his side to get his attention and he wormed closer into her. "Okay?" Holly asked again. She knew the game he was playing, even at two he was starting.

"Okay." Shiloh sighed dramatically.

Satisfied, Holly wrapped an arm around the boy and focused on the page laid out for her. Just as she went to read she stopped. The word wasn't English, she scanned the rest of the page and the one next to it, none of the words were English and in fact we're French. Now Holly, as a proud Canadian, knew some French. Very few words, and even fewer sentences. She could tell you flavours of things, she could get the gist of how to cook something out of a box without having to turn to the English side, she could even order basic things at a restaurant. But she could not read a child's book.

Shiloh looked up impatiently, Holly met that with an amused grin. She glanced between the toddler and the open page. "I can't read this one." She confessed.

Shiloh pulled a face only his mom could have given to him, a mix of confusion and 'why the hell not'.

"I can't read French."

His brows crunched even closer together, she could see him trying to puzzle it all together in the blue of his eyes.

"This book is in French, I can't read or speak French like mommy can." Holly explained. "I can't even speak as much as you can." She watched the light bulb go off in his head with adoration.

"'Nother one?"

"How about we save this one for when mommy comes home and we go make dinner together?" Holly suggested, placing the book on the towering stack they'd read in the last hour and a half. Shiloh replied by holding his arms up and making grabby hands, his way of ordering to be picked up. Holly gladly stood and hoisted him onto her hip.

~

"Haven't seen those dance moves in years."

Holly froze and spun around. Her face turned a bright red as she realized what she'd been doing and who had caught her. Gail leaned in the kitchen door frame, a smirk across her lips, and a blue eyed baby in one arm. Shiloh giggled.

She pivoted back around just as fast as she had before and parented that dinner needed to be stirred again.

"Shows how often you show up to our dance parties." Holly tried to smooth over her embarrassment.

"I'll be sure not to miss the next one then." Gail replied closer than she had expected. Her pulse was racing and she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the adrenaline from her embarrassment, or it could be from the scare of not even knowing the blonde had gotten home.

"Supper's just about ready, why don't you get Shy ready, he's a mess." Holly fumbled to get past the moment.

"Who isn't." Gail asked rhetorically. Holly chuckled.

After dinner, a bath, and some down time playing it came Shiloh's bedtime. And so they went through the set routine of a potty attempt, fresh diaper and pjs, teeth, and tuck in. When lead them to the second half, story and lullaby's.

Even after so long Holly couldn't get over the sight of the blonde in the crib. For some reason or another Gail always climbed into Shiloh's crib with him to put him to bed, and not even on the open side where they had removed the bars, she wiggled her way between the wall and the toddler.

"Tonight's book was chosen this afternoon when I couldn't read it." Holly smiled fondly at the pair and passed the thin story to the blonde as she settled on the shaggy rug next to Shiloh's bed. Gail took one look and barked a laugh. She turned to the brunette with a smile that hit her eyes.

"Quoi? As-tu des problems a lire un livre d'enfant?" She asked, earning herself a giggle from her son and an unimpressed glare from her friend.

"Very funny." Holly's tone matched her glare but gave way to her actual amusement of the situation. She reached over the blue eyed boy, all snug in bed with his mom, and tapped the colourful cover of the book. "Just read the damn thing."

Gail sent the brunette one last grin and opened to the first page. Her shoulders relaxed as she held the book up on her legs, feet in the air and ankles crossed, she began to read.

Holly practically melted on the spot. She loved listening to Gail read, enjoyed the funny voices she added, the quick comments about bad choices of attire and silly silly characters, but there was something about they way she read in other languages that got to her. Gail's voice would change all together, turn into something foreign if it weren't for its common appearance. Different languages, the different tongues, had always intrigued Holly. She'd always wanted to be able to speak more than just English. But she was bad at it, she didn't have an ear for it, she couldn't keep much and eventually she gave up trying and left it to those who could. Like Gail, she could pick up a new language and be fluent within a month.

So she listened intently, only catching a word or two every so often, and watched the different reactions Shiloh gave.

"Fin." Gail closed the book and kissed the side of Shiloh's head, which had snuck it's way up onto her collarbone and nuzzled into her neck. He was passed out long before the end of his story, he hadn't even made it to the middle when his eyes fluttered closed and didn't reopen. Gail's eyes found Holly's and she let a small smile grace her lips. "So how'd you like the story?"

Holly gave her a crooked grin. "It was nice."

Gail hummed her agreement. "Did you get any of it?"

She shook her head.

"Then how do you know if it was any good?" Gail challenged.

"Maybe I should clarify. I have no idea if it was actually any good, but the telling of it was nice and enjoyable."

Gail licked her lips. Before she could reply Shiloh moved and took the moment away. "I should move before I get stuck in his talons and never be able to move again."

Holly immediately moved to help by holding Shiloh's head so Gail could slide out under him. Once out Gail straightened out her shirt.

"Well I'm off to bed too, I've got another long day tomorrow." Gail announced. "And don't worry, I'm still going to do the dishes as promised."

Holly smirked at her closest friend. She knew the blonde wasn't going to be up for doing them the next night, she'd been working doubles to try and keep up with the days she missed due to her son. "Goodnight Gail."

"Night Nerd."


	16. Valentine's Day

Shiloh squished Gail’s cheeks and laughed hysterically at the look on his mothers face, the sound of the paint splatting, the cartoonish gasp.

“Oh you’re gonna pay for that!” Gail declared and splat her own hands in the plate of paint.

Shy giggled and took his hands back, smoothing them in the mixing colours, but before he could make his next move Gail wiped a hand across his cheek. He squealed in delight and made hand prints on his moms shirt, gaining himself another gasp. Gail retaliated with hand prints of her own, one on his tummy and one on his arm. They both loaded with more paint and continued to get as much as they could onto the other.

The fight was not planned. Gail had laid out newspaper to prevent it from getting everywhere, she’d attempted to get the toddler to wear a smock and when he refused she stripped him down to his diaper, she’d worn one of Holly’s old shirts, she’d even set rules about keeping it to brushes and not fingers. The friendly and safe painting session took a turn when she thought to sign it with a coupe hand prints. Dipping Shiloh’s hands in and covering them in paint was fine, teaching the toddler how to make his hands form a heart was great, looking away for a second was a mistake. A mistake Shiloh took happily and swiped his fingers across Gail’s neck. She’d met that with a bop to his nose. And so the war began.

“What in the world is going on in-”

The two froze mid strike. They were caught and there wasn’t anything they could do about it. Gail sheepishly let go of her sons cheeks while Shiloh finished wiping his hand down the blondes arm.

“We can explain?” Gail tried innocently. Holly burst out laughing, doubled over and everything. The two Pecks joined in as well, the brunette’s laugh always contagious.

“Please do explain, I’d love to hear this one.”

Gail shuffled to the big picture they had been peacefully creating before war ensued, and held up the top ends to show the brunette. “Happy Valentine’s Day?”

Holly’s breath caught in her throat, her chest fluttered, and there was a rush of warm affection that ran through her entire being. Out of all things, she hadn’t expected that. In fact she hadn’t even remembered it was Valentine’s Day until her coworker asked if she had anything planned for the holiday. She’d rushed to the nearest store and bought a bunch of candies and made little bags for Gail and Shy in the car before coming home to boisterous laughing. And there they were, nervously and adorably showing their gesture of love off.

It was big, definitely not something she could properly showcase anywhere. It was also messy, uncoordinated, filled with colour and mismatch themes, it was made with love and it showed. In the middle, surrounded by hand prints big and small, it asked a very important question. ‘Will you be our Valentine?’

“I’d be honoured.”

“She said yes and we didn’t even have to give her the rest of the presents!” Gail cheered to the curly haired boy. Shiloh squealed excitedly and jumped up and down. Then he ran and tackled Holly’s legs, squeezing them tight in a hug. Holly initially wanted doge the hug, Shy covered in fresh paint, but he got to her before she could stop anything so she went with it and bent down to his level to get a better hug.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Holly.” He murmured into her shoulder, words broken and letters mispronounced like always.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Shy.” She replied with one more squeeze and let go, internally wincing at the mess of her clothes.

“I’m get the rest.” Shiloh tumbled out of the tiny kitchen and into the hall where he disappeared into Gail’s room.

“Sorry about the mess.” Gail apologized sheepishly and stood. She looked down and remembered her borrowed shirt. “And your shirt.”

Holly cracked an adoring smirk. “Thank you.”

Gail glanced up through her eyelashes and shrugged.

“I have to admit that I’m not as good of a valentine as you two are, I kind of forgot the day and only had time to pick up some candy on my way home.” She confessed. Gail took a few steps toward her, a cute smirk dawning her lips, and stopped a foot in front of the brunette. She kept her eyes on warm brown ones as she raised her hand and placed it on Holly’s cheek.

“You’re a dork, Lunchbox.”

**_A/N: A few people have asked about this au, whether I’m continuing and when etc. I am definitely continuing, I love this au and really love exploring it. But I don’t want to really start on the second part -which I’ve decided will continue with where it ended- until I’ve wrapped up one or two of my other ongoing ones. So like Wife and Child and New Found Inspiration both tied up in pretty bows before I get to continuing the series. On that note though, I’m totally continuing to write these drabbles so if you have any ideas for this or any other stories, I’m all ears._ **


	17. Egg!

Gail watched as her son toddled around the living room looking for the eggs they'd dyed the night before. She hadn't had any experience with the art, Pecks didn't do messes or egg hunts for that matter. It had been a crazy night full of firsts. Learning how easy it was for skin to stain with the mixture of the dye, how delicious it looked to toddlers and just how long their attention span lasted when they couldn't eat the dye, how hard it actually was to hide a dozen eggs. She and Holly had had one hell of a time hiding the colourful eggs, a few debates broke out on whether or not Shiloh would be able to find them, and there was more than one time an egg had been dropped, but it was a night Gail didn't see herself forgetting. And she was more than happy to share those experiences with her best friend. Gail didn't know what she would ever do without Holly. Actually she did know, she just didn't want to think about it.

She turned her head to the side and smiled at the sleepy delight Holly adore while watching Shy peak under the coffee table. Yeah, Gail liked sharing these moments with her dorky roommate.

"Egg!" Shiloh squealed around the binky between his lips and reached for the pink egg in the bowl on the table. He held it up proudly to show the women on the couch.

"Good job, baby." Gail praised, earning herself a wide grin. She beamed right back, how could she not? Her son's hair was a mess, eyes sleepy but shinning all the same, wearing a bunny onesie Holly just had to buy, and yelling about finding another egg a giant bunny supposedly hid for him.

"Here," Holly held out the egg carton for him to deposit the egg with the others he'd found, "put it in here with the others."

Shiloh happily shuffled around the table and gently laid the egg in an empty spot. Then looked up at the brunette waiting for his next instructions.

Holly chuckled. "Perfect, now go find some more. Remember you have to fill all of the spots." She pointed to the empty slot next to the pink egg he just added in. Shy nodded, spun around and was off again.

"So I might retract what I said about the onesie." Gail commented, eyes focused on the toddler scoping out the window curtains. She breathed a laugh when Shiloh threw the one curtain back with fully force, only to gently sneak up on the second as if that was why the first had been clear of colourful treats.

"Oh yeah?" Holly questioned over her coffee mug.

"While he does look ridiculous, he pulls it off well."

Holly chuckled. "That he does."

"Egg!" Shiloh exclaimed, clear as day -apparently he forwent his binky in his search-, bringing the attention back to him. He plucked the green egg from his little bookcase and held it up for them to see, just as proud as the first he'd found.

Holly wiggled the carton out and Shiloh didn't waste any time in running back to the couch to put the newfound treasure with the others. But he again at stood Holly's feet, waiting. She raised a brow at the curly haired boy.

"Beautiful egg." He pet the newest edition.

"It is a beautiful egg." She agreed, thoroughly amused. "There's lots of beautiful eggs waiting for you to find them."

Shiloh's eyes grew bigger with amazement. He turned to get confirmation from his mom, and when Gail nodded he was off to find the next.

When Gail went to drink the last mouthful of her coffee the dark purple of her fingertips caught her eyes and she couldn't help but smile, a shot of warmth streamed in her veins and lit a tingly path all throughout her body. Dreams were coming true. Gail Peck had dyed eggs and was up early Easter morning hunting for them.

"What?" Holly questioned with a tilt of her head.

Gail shook her head and waved off the brunette. "Nothing."

Holly stared at her for a minute before standing and took the mug right out of pale fingers with a small grin on her lips. Gail sighed contently and went back to watching her son giddily peak in his toy box.

"Egg!"


End file.
